Recently Discovered Letters: USPS Collection Notices to Eminem’s Stalker “Stan”
Truth is, all of us at USPS are trying to reach you/Because you checked off premium shipping without paying for that feature.
Tag: Death
Harry Potter’s Grief Letter to Dumbledore
I cannot forgive you for making me spend what would have been my final year at Hogwarts shitting in the woods.
Out-of-the-Box Ideas for Combatting Climate Change Since We’re Probably Doomed Anyway
Flood solution? Plastic bags. Let’s collect them all and combine them into one giant, country-crossing, water-catching, plastic bag.
List: Twitter’s New Color-Coded Guide to Trending Celebrities
Red and White – Said or did something stupid but not necessarily evil. Named their baby after their foot massager.
Sorry Ma’am, the Apocalypse Is on a Very Tight Schedule
Ma’am, you’ll have to speak up. War is really gearing up for tomorrow’s grand finale, and his machines are pretty loud.
Godzilla vs. Empty Nest Syndrome
Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.
On Bread: A Deep History of a Common Food
Hundreds of generations of humans have been sustained on some sort of bread, the same food that I shovel into my mouth with abandon at Olive Garden.
List: What Your Favorite Color Says About Everything You Are and Will Ever Be
Light Blue - You were born on November 17, 1994. You are 24 years old. You are male. If you were not gay before, you are now. No one knows it yet.
My Eulogy as Delivered by My Targeted Ads
Judging by how few followers he had, I probably knew him best.
This Might Sound Crazy, But Your House is Made From My Mom
It would really mean a lot if I could come in and see where she … ended up. Sorry, looks like I’m interrupting book club.