Ways I Imagined I Might Die When I Was a Kid
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
I'll cut to the chase. The tunnel was too long and the light at the end was not bright enough.
I know, it’s fucked up. And I do not envy whoever has to go toe-to-toe with that buffalo of a man.
We mourn the loss of Avocado, survived by literally everything else in the kitchen.
I have trouble putting something as heavy as this into words, so I’ll send my sympathies in the best way I know how.
We will cover all the fundamentals, from color and composition to bloodstain patterns and anatomy.
We’re living in a day and age where kids think they can trash talk a member of the Royal Family on Fortnite.
I murdered your wife, and you got pretty mad at me for doing that. We’ll call that one a tie. We’re both people!
The Desert Escape: Run into the desert. There, you’ll meet a snake. Name the snake. Name him Benjamin. Benjamin will bite you, but don’t cry out.
Intellectual property is precious and hard to find, just like Tracy’s body.
It's not like I’m going to be walking in the park only to be attacked by a stealthy vending machine that pops out from behind a tree.
It is sad, yes, but he is in a better place. I am told at the farm there is a little pond with some swans in it.