How to Parallel Park While Barely Clinging to Your Masculinity
Would you look at that… So typical of a Lexus to take up as much room as humanly possible. Total road hog.
Dan Fitzpatrick is a New York City comic and writer. Dan first cut his teeth in the Boston comedy scene, and later moved to New York in 2015, where he produces Divine Comedy. His offbeat observations and cutting wit have made him a favorite of audiences all over the East Coast. He has worked as a writer/producer for A&E, History, and Lifetime. His writing also regularly appears in The National Lampoon, Above Average, and Splitsider, and he starred in a Drunk History video that was featured on Comedy Central's website.
Would you look at that… So typical of a Lexus to take up as much room as humanly possible. Total road hog.
The main responsibility of any dad in a restaurant is to spout off a consistent stream of comedy gold. So many antics!
We stormed into your backyard like Viking hordes, and heaved your precious boy into a burlap sack, the rough fibers scratching his tousled hair.