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Tag: Music

Thanks to the PTA and a few passionate teachers, an after-school grammar club is formed so kids like me have a safe place to diagram sentences.

Listen, I appreciate being included in this Christmas parade but, frankly, I’m not sure why I’m here.

Sad news to report to Arrowhead fans: At a Cincinnati concert, bassist Valmer DeSota got his long hair stuck in the strings of his bass.

A lot of the information Spotify gives you doesn’t seem that interesting anyway. I don’t even think “Toxic Positivity Delusioncore” is a real genre.

Trent Dribbly is a gale-force wind of fresh air with his unapologetic attitude about stealing leftover food from coworkers.

Just imagine the most unbelievable venue design I’ve ever seen is right behind his bald, moon-shaped head.

The size of the crowd was shocking. I knew the Austin Powers trilogy was beloved but I never knew this many people particularly liked the third one.

Service Charge USD $1.60 x 3 | Service Fee USD $2.30 x 3 | Self Service Fee USD $3.90 | Order Manufacturing Fee USD $4.75

Why do Barenaked Ladies’ experienced lawyers continue sending me documents entitled “SLIP AND FALL LAWSUIT, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR BAND”?

I’ve been told that the back of my head is so soft, it's like those $10 holiday blankets you get at Target.

Maybe he needs to hear it very badly for whatever marriage-related problems he’s going through. If I had to guess, of course.

And God said, “Let there be great music so none of them talk to each other,” and there was a DJ who worked in finance but DJed on the side.