Child Labor Is Back, Baby! (Seriously, Are You a Baby? Because We’re Hiring)
You won’t get holidays off, but aren’t you sick of spending Thanksgiving with your cheugy cousins anyway?
Comedy Writing
The Dollar Bill on the Wall of This Pizza Shop Is Sick of Being Out of Circulation
It might look like I have a pretty good gig, but don’t you think this is kind of fucked up?
I’m Your 40-Ounce Water Bottle, and This Has Been an Emotional Rollercoaster
I started to worry once I took a few tumbles onto the driveway. The damage was limited—I am made of steel—but the emotional injury is everlasting.