I went to the most awe-inspiring concert last night. It’s such a shame you couldn’t come. But don’t worry! Lucky for you, I took a bunch of random, grainy videos throughout the night that we can watch together right now.

Look at this one! Whoever produced this show went above and beyond. The stage was so different from anything I've ever seen before. It’s kind of hard to make out beyond this 6’4” man in the foreground, but just imagine the most unbelievable venue design I’ve ever seen is right behind his bald, moon-shaped head.

There were these amazingly intricate lighting effects that overtook the whole room. They were eye-opening but also blinding–namely because looking directly into the spotlights irreparably damaged my retinas. Since the concert, I've been seeing these little light spots whenever I open and close my eyes. It's intensely painful.

But you know what's not painful? Reliving the entire evening with you right now through these videos. And actually, the nonstop light show is what's creating that intense glare and pixelation effect you'll see in every frame of every vid I'll be showing you today.

The audience was so connected. Like here’s when everyone started swaying side to side, waving our phones in the air. Oh shit, this must have been when I dropped my phone. Oh wow, this perspective is upsetting. It’s like the point of view of a rat being kicked around the floor and nothing is discernible other than people shouting, “WATCH IT!” followed by my faint screams of, “BUT THAT’S MY PHONE.”

But anyway, let’s watch another video!

Oh, this is my favorite song. Isn’t this song amazing? The lead singer’s vocals are unparalleled, unlike anyone else on the radio. Oh, and now you can hear me singing, too. Wow, it’s literally impossible to hear anything else. It’s just me, screaming the chorus at the top of my lungs directly into my phone’s microphone. And also recreating the instrumental sounds directly into your ear right now.

DODUM DODA DUMDUM DO DA DUMDA DADA DO. God, I just love a seven-minute drum solo.

This next clip is astounding. The backup dancers did a Cirque-du-Soleil-level acrobatic routine. I know you can’t see any of it because I was jumping up and down in excitement, but when you think about it, that's practically the same thing.

What? That made you nauseous? Don’t worry, this next video is only five seconds long. And here’s another that’s only two seconds long. And this one is a literal millisecond. Now I’m going to play them back-to-back as quickly as I can to give you a complete picture of the most exhilarating 7.001 seconds of my life.

Oh, that didn’t help with the nausea? Well, let’s watch this longer video!

Aww, this is when the lead singer gave each and every backup dancer a personalized shout-out. It lasted over fifteen minutes. I captured the whole thing, which we will continue to watch with my added commentary that makes me rewind and replay every few seconds. So it’ll be more like twenty minutes before we can get to the encore videos.

I’m telling you, last night’s concert was a life-changing experience. I’m so glad I recorded the whole thing because these videos really capture how incredible it all was. I just feel like I see the world differently now. I’m more introspective, in large part because I learned what it means to be fully and completely present.

What was that? You’re not getting what was so special about it? You’re not a different person after having watched all of these videos?

Huh. I guess you just had to be there.