Mind You, This Was Before Cell Phones
The Magna Carta was signed in 1215. Mind you, this was before cell phones, so King John couldn’t Docusign from home while wearing his best pair of sweats.
Tag: Phones
We at Strava See You, Gwen
They gasp at how you ran for an hour and twenty six minutes at 6:14 P.M. on Tuesday. “She didn’t take any breaks?” they exclaim.
Automated Texts I’ll Receive on My Deathbed
A Nebraskan tire center I used once on a road trip seven years ago: We’re feeling a little deflated today, and wheel miss you as a valued customer.
Corporate Layoffs Will Now Be Communicated via Raunchy Chain Texts
Forward to 10 coworkers to lay them off for us, or get 9 years bad luck in your job search. 👋🍑
I’m a Phone and I’m Wasting My Life Staring at This Human
The man drains my battery from the second he wakes up to the second he falls asleep, leaving only a few hours for me to charge overnight.
I Regret Cheating on My Girlfriend, Cindy, Who Is Also Clay County’s Emergency Alert System Coordinator
Regarding Alert 4, "Hurricane Steve Who Can't Keep It In His Pants" will not make landfall anytime soon.
Interview with an Instagram Poet
Have you ever considered capitalization? NO. i mean
16 New Emojis We Didn’t Know We Needed
A calendar flipping you off – Represents deadlines that hate you personally.
Is Your Refrigerator Running?
Ma’am, your wariness is completely understandable, but I am genuinely asking about whether your refrigerator is operational.
The Rules of Modern Phone Etiquette, by a Totally Healthy Introvert
Don’t Leave a Voicemail: Voicemails are a dusty artifact from the days before text messaging.
A Psalm of David, On Hold for Customer Service
O Lord, I called upon the sacred number, as it was written on the back of my card.
Spend $10 on Cigarettes, Get $500 in Bonus Cigarettes on Us
Here at CigKings, our company philosophy is simple: we give away large sums of money out of the goodness of our hearts.