If I Texted My Ex How SMS Marketers Text Me
Special offer alert for your birthday! Reply before the end of the night for an all-inclusive hookup!!
Tag: Phones
Press the Star Key at Any Time for a Complete List of Absolutely Everything You Can Expect Us to Do for You Lazy Bastards
To hear this litany of passive-aggressive disgust in English, press one.
At This Year’s Fall Harvest Festival, We Have Replaced the Corn Maze with You Getting Lost in Your Phone
We've accepted the fact that the Corn Maze could no longer compete with technology's draw to hook you to the point that you lose all sense of time.
Please, for the Love of God, Reply “Confirm” or “Cancel”
You still haven’t confirmed, but you also haven’t canceled. Just a heads up, the uncertainty is kind of messing with some people here.
My Fellow Henchman, I Noticed You Don’t Have My Number Saved
I was craning to see if you laughed at the Minions meme I sent and saw my contact name was just my number with "Maybe: Neil" under it.
Are You in a Kafka Story or on the Phone with a Customer Service Representative?
No one will explain the charge to you, but you are sure it is unjust.
Post-Coital Word Choices, Analyzed by WordleBot
“YIKES” Really? Of the 2,309 possible Wordle solutions out there, this is not the one we would have picked to say to our partner.
12 Moments You Thought You Could Forget, but Your Phone’s Photo “Memories” Function Won’t Let You
That time you got your first martini at the airport and took a pic for the group chat before tasting it and realizing you hate martinis.
Hey, Do You Have an ETA Yet?
If you were one character from Lord of the Rings, who would you be? I’d be Gandalf because, like he says, “a wizard is never late,” lol.
Less than Emergency Numbers, 912-937
915: Ex has recurring role in formerly favorite TV series 916: Enormous spider in shower
10 Fake Phone Call Responses You Can Use to Leave Early like an Action Hero
Before the tension in the air makes someone scream, say quietly, "I could tell you, but then—well, you know…"
Instagram Is Permanently Banning Your Account Due to Bad Vibes
We realize it’s atypical to ban someone who hasn’t violated our Terms of Service, we strongly believe that your personality and general vibe justify an exception.