Help, It’s Your King! I’m Trapped and Will Surely Burn Alive Unless You Download This Mobile Game and Match Blocks by Similar Color and Shape!
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
Comedy Writing
I’m Proud to Announce I’ve Been Selected to Pay for a Full-Ride Scholarship to the University of Business Online
While UBO might not be part of the “Ivy League,” it is part of something called the “Platinum Preferred Double Points Club."
Shut Up, Antidiabetic Medicine Jardiance®, Just Shut Up—You Had Me at “Serious Side Effects Can Include Necrotizing Fasciitis”
I'll never forget how safe you made me feel, the way you blocked the SGLT2 found in the proximal tubules of nephrotic components in my kidneys.
Ok, Buddy, Now You’ve Really Gone and Done It
I don't want to be bad, but I will if I have to. Wait, scratch that. I actually LOVE being bad. And guess what? To me? Being bad feels GOOD.
It’s Me, Scrub Daddy, America’s Favorite Sponge! Please Stop Using My Mouth to Clean Your Dishes
The hole for my mouth is pretty much only there for novelty reasons. No matter how hard you push, none of your cups or plates will ever fit.
This Halloween, Save Money by Dressing Up as Binglejuice, Everyone’s Favorite Mischievous Ghoul!
You won't find a better price on a Halloween costume than this non-trademarked and fair use character!
I’ve Lived Longer than Any Dog Ever
In the eyes of a dog, I am nothing less than an eternal being existing beyond the constraints of matter and time. So where's my treat for being a good boy?