[common woman’s name in the 1970s]   , this town bites.
   [same woman’s name]   , we have a real problem, and it’s that    [stage of pregnancy or draft number or both]   .
This is a dirty, dirty, bad    [name of small New Jersey town, country, or planet]   , and there are    [type of insect or parasite, plural]    and mites.
   [common father’s name in the 1970s]    is going to kill me    [point in time]   ,
when he finds out about that    [same stage of pregnancy or draft number or both]   .

You know what rips you to shreds?    [synonym for life]   .
   [slang term for a woman in the 1970s]   , let’s get married.

Not because we love each other.
Not because I think you're    [aesthetically pleasing way to describe an individual or a painting]   .
   [common woman’s name in the 1970s]    because [stage of pregnancy or draft number or both].

This place is a    [pejorative term that rhymes with the random word mentioned above]   .
It's a    [pejorative term that indicates a means or method of entrapment] I was doing just fine until I met you.
But you    [pejorative verb that indicates a means of entrapment, in the past perfect tense]    me,
and I realized I was a shrunken    [synonym for corpse or another inanimate object]    in the body of a man.

It’s okay that we don’t love each other.
It's okay that I don't think you're very    [synonym for attractive]   .
We’re just    [synonym for living, gerund]   .
We’re just    [phrase that indicates aging, gerund]   .
We're just    [synonym for dying, gerund]   .

I’m a street    [type of rodent]   .
That’s why you don’t care.
But I don’t care, either.
Nobody cares about a piece of    [synonym for trash]   .
Because I’m a    [different type of rodent]   .

Sometimes I drink    [type of hard liquor, an extremely cheap but well-known brand]   .
I bury my head in the sand,
And I throw my    [intangible goal, plural]    and    [separate intangible goal, plural]    into the bottle.
My head has been in this bottle since I was    [age that is significantly younger than 21]   .
You were    [same age]    once, too.

But now that you’re leaving me,
Because I’m a street    [third type of rodent]   ,
And I treated you    [poor way to treat someone]   .
And the Lord treated me like    [synonym for scum of the Earth]   .
I’m still holding onto this torn    [article of clothing]   .

Let's follow our    [noun that indicates something intangible, such as a hope or dream but is not actually a hope or dream]   .
Let's bury our    [type of oath, plural]   .
Let's forget our    [moment in history that could serve as a metaphor for personal strife]  .
Let's not retreat into our    [noun that indicates something painful and intangible]   .
Let's run from    [same stage of pregnancy or draft number or both]   .

I think about the time we    [synonym for escape, in the past perfect tense]    into the    [place that is not that great, but probably better than a trash can]   .
Or maybe I’ll find hope at the bottom of this    [place that is worse than a trash can]   .

Harmonica interlude.