Before I Buy Your Car, I Need to Ask You Some Invasive Questions About the Lifestyle I Am About to Purchase
I can't really tell from the photo—is it an attractive car? Will adult men try to jump on top of my car whenever I'm stopped at a light?
Sarah Totton writes weird stuff. You can find her weird stuff at McSweeney's, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, and even Points in Case.
I can't really tell from the photo—is it an attractive car? Will adult men try to jump on top of my car whenever I'm stopped at a light?
Q. Can I safely bring an unpeeled potato into a sporting event? A. Security will likely be using metal & potato detectors. It will be confiscated.
Animal Farm by George Orwell You've got goat, you've got mutton, you've got chicken... What you need to do is pick one flavor and stick to it.
I climbed in the window of that cottage over there and the lady inside screamed. I don't know why. There were no ghosts in there. I checked.
"What is your job?" Wilmott said. "I work in an office," said Gorge. "My boss keeps turtles in a tank. Sometimes I have to feed them."
You're enjoying this, aren't you? You’re the kind of person who kneads dough for an unnecessarily long time to be sure the yeasts can't escape.
“You suck!” screamed Roger, leaving Eusuk the vampire to wonder whether Roger was referring to his name, his nature, or the fact that he had just missed a relatively easy penalty kick.
The most important thing Brad learned at veterinary clown college was never to vaccinate the balloon animals.