1. You’re happy as long as you’re left alone and fed on time.
  2. After being away from home for any length of time, it takes you three days to properly decompress and readjust.
  3. You make low-pitched noises to convey that you’re upset. Which you are.
  4. Visitors can tell which piece of furniture is your favorite just by looking at what has the most stains.
  5. Regardless of when you go to bed, you sleep for twelve hours.
  6. You keep acquiring an increasing number of toys while your number of job offers remains at zero.
  7. Strangers being welcomed into your home makes you recoil.
  8. You waste all hours of the day entertaining some random fascination.
  9. You don’t know the proper way to show a stranger you trust them, so you just rub yourself against their leg.
  10. When it comes to meeting new people, you prefer to be the one who initiates the interaction so that the other person won’t force their affection on you too soon.
  11. You cast a very judgmental look when not served your usual food.
  12. Laser pointers easily grab your attention.
  13. You bare your teeth if someone approaches you before you’re ready.
  14. You’re completely harmless, even when your eyes might say otherwise.
  15. You’re not good at cleaning up after yourself because you have someone who does that for you.
  16. You’re the reason all the fine china is in the cabinets and not on the display shelves.
  17. Your body language gives off a bold and independent image, but that does little to hide the fact that you rely on others for pretty much everything.
  18. You prefer to clean yourself rather than be forcibly bathed.
  19. There’s no real reason for why you’re staring at a blank spot on the wall, but you know you don’t want to be interrupted while you’re doing it.
  20. This woman in her 60’s keeps calling you “her baby.”

1-20: Only child*
1-20: House cat*

*Even if you’re an adult only child and just one of these applies to you, it means your living situation has already turned you into a house cat