Children | Points in Case

Tag: Children

Humorous: Suggest, as a possible place of origin, "Yo momma’s ass." Smile to indicate that you are "just kidding."

It’s really nice catching up like this, but I do feel like we need to have a little talk, bear to man.

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Forcing a dork to do all your homework for you and then not even turning it in, slowly introducing the concept of nihilism into their worldview.

This is a flexible position, in that you can decide when you are going to do any damn work even though you’re getting paid for it.

My headache thundered with every step, but we'd duel for hours with our tin-foil-covered balsa wood swords.

No one else in this house has to be a Morning Person other than the Wake-Up Fairy! Isn’t that great? And now it’s time to get ready for school.

Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.

Did you know that there's a hunger epidemic going on? And more importantly, did you know that the office switched to ordering from Fresh Direct?

My parents knew they had early mornings in the factory, just working towards the American dream, but there was something special about that night.