Children | Points in Case

Tag: Children

"I only had two glasses of wine with dinner." Ah, ah, ah. Correction: you had two AND A HALF glasses of wine.

All that changed when a (unnamed for legal purposes) billionaire “superhero” with no powers showed up and asked me to join his superhero team.

The lifeguards have radar guns now and if we clock you at more than three miles per hour, YOU’RE GONE.

You clapped for me in music when I put all the recorders in my mouth at once. They tasted like the way a basketball smells.

If you buy a homemade ice cream maker or a cookie decorating kit, you are contributing to the child obesity epidemic sweeping America.

Uber Parents: Be too readily available, allowing your children to summon you at any hour of the day or night.

'It's online! It's online!' – Frankenstein 'If you start the Webex meeting, he will climb on your lap.' – Field of Dreams

That man that I saw on the screen—that I had grown up IDOLIZING—was actually just some hack in disguise.

Kid: I like your new shirt, Mama! Me: Thanks! Kid: I like how it makes you look like you have a big baby in your belly.

I seem to have sat at a desk that was positioned in front of a “shit ton of Nerf guns.” Actually, 33 to be exact.

As a dude who’s got a bachelor's in biz dev, a 2.6 GPA, and has read most of the first quarter of "Infinite Jest," this shouldn't be all that hard.

I’d become what’s known as "The Cool Dad" among David’s friends, and I was worried that coming off as anti-cockfighting would harm that reputation.