Astronaut Caught Masturbating Aboard the ISS Faces New Trouble
I am a man. A normal man with normal needs. Do the whole "walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes" thing. There’s no elbow room here. No privacy.
Tag: Children
List: Passive-Aggressive BuzzFeed Quizzes Written By Your Mom
"Poll: Are you mad at me? Because your sister insinuated some things you might’ve told her about me…"
Welcome to the Great Hall of Science and Nature!
Ponder morbidly whether the great stuffed beasts of plains and forest were found dead or shot purely for taxidermic purposes.
List: Things Your Teen Daughter Asks You at 11:17 PM, When You’re in Bed Watching “House Hunters”
Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?
Scavenger Hunt: New Kids on the Block Mixtape Tour with Very Special Guests Salt-N-Pepa, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Naughty by Nature LIVE at Boston’s TD Garden Edition
Someone wearing acid wash jeans or an acid wash denim mini skirt and a Tufts sweatshirt --- 20 points, Those Reeboks with the Velcro --- 25 points
List: Steely Dan Lyrics or Things Burnt-Out First-Time Parents Say to Each Other
We could stay inside and play games, I don’t know. I kinda like frying up my sad cuisine, gettin' in bed and curling up with a girlie magazine.
I Am an ICE Guard and I Sleep Very Well Through My Night Terrors, Thank You
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
New Monoculture Candidates
"Aja": Such an underrated Steely Dan album. “Deacon Blues” and “Peg” as back-to-back tracks? Come on.
Welcome to Camp Sunshine! Please Read Our 2019 Camp Policies
Camp Sunshine opens its doors at 8:55 every morning. Please drive carefully because although we have 125 campers, we only have 11 legal parking spots.
An Open Letter to the “Pay It Forward” Person at the Drive-Thru
Being a happy-go-lightly, vacant soul, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t use that fistful of dollars to pay for the order of the guy behind me.