Children | Page 3 | Points in Case

Tag: Children

The crumbs in my bed sheets, the chocolate smear on my PJs—I don’t know, maybe I wanted to get caught.

When learning how to read an analog clock. He raised his hand and guessed the time was “beer thirty.” It was 11:18 AM.

You think my child is a heinous sociopath because she killed your family cat? Ever heard of formaldehyde and Damien Hirst? It's called art.

In 200 feet, check the mirror to ensure your child hasn’t escaped the car seat like a little Gen Alpha Houdini.

I said I was sorry, and Sam said it was okay and that he would stop taking my iPod. This is one example of misunderstandings outside of the Torah.

I think about how life could have been easier if I’d just stayed the course and resisted certain… urges.

Her name is Miss S and she would be sucha goood servr cuz she is soo good at teeching me about all kind of stuff.

Hey Google, search “affordable therapists near me,” and please read the results to the tune of “Baby Shark.”

When I was four, I knew I was in my prime. Solidly potty trained, only three teeth missing, able to draw both unicorns and school buses.

Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.

Look, I know I’ve made mistakes in the past. The kicking. The jabbing. The grabbing. I was a real loose cannon there for a while.

Q: What’s keeping gators from the kids? A: Nothing! Your kids can get up close and personal with our alligators.