Tom Ellison profile page

Tom Ellison Washington, DC

I live in the Washington, DC area where I write humor, arguably.

Comedy Writing

SpaghettAI involves unfathomable computing power, a series of data centers in Tuscany, and a gargantuan tub of tomato sauce in the metaverse.

Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.

Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.

“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”

I was wary of Jamie moving into our base, because I gathered credible olfactory intelligence that they associate with cats.

"It wasn't so much a specific question, but her vibe was like–" DON'T.

Rid thyself of toxins after a night of mirth and meade with Rejuvipure.

9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.

I am thrilled to present a treatment for those suffering from actuallytis, the compulsion to make unnecessary, annoying, and pedantic corrections.

Resting Pitch Face – Appears on the verge of talking to you about his screenplay, TV pilot, or tech startup (avoid elevators).