Resting Mitch Face – Looks like a raging Mitch.

Resting Pitch Face – Appears on the verge of talking to you about his screenplay, TV pilot, or tech startup (avoid elevators).

Resting Biatch Face – Looks like a n00b that a homophobic 8th grader named Derrick recently pwned in Fortnite.

Resting Resting Face – Looks like he naps on public transit, a habit cultivated via years of riding the subway alone at night without fear of harassment or assault.

Resting Dick Voice – Seems like when a woman pushing a double stroller needs to squeeze past him he says “Sure, go ahead” and means for it to sound friendly, but it comes out in a dickish monotone.

Nesting Kitsch Ace – Projects an air like he is great at finding nonfunctional wooden and leather knicknacks to decorate his manly bachelor pad.

Requesting Glitch Trace – Looks like a hacker character in a techno-thriller who would use a lot of nonsensical cyber jargon.

Besting Hitch Farce – Seems like a Hollywood producer obsessed with making a better movie than his all-time favorite romantic comedy, the Will Smith vehicle Hitch.

Wresting Niche Space – Gives off a vibe like he’s employing his outsized social capital to seize scarce market share from less privileged competitors.

Resting “Resting Bitch Face” Face – Gives the impression he sincerely uses the term “resting bitch face” to describe women.


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