Michael Jordan (born 1963) is an American businessman and former professional basketball player.

To avoid any confusion, Michael Jordan or Mike Jordan may also refer to…

Michael B. Jordan: American actor known for Creed, Black Panther, and Sinners. Named Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine in 2020 (and now by Wikipedia).

Michael C. Jordan: A matador originally from Cook County, Illinois… which makes him a Chicago bull-fighter. Yeah, yeah, he knows.

Michael D’Jordan: Michael OF Jordan.

Michael E. Jordan: Steeple Magazine’s Saintliest Man Alive (2020).

Michael F. Jordan: Celebrity realtor and hacky-sack champion from Marietta, Ohio.

Michael G. Jordan: Regular-ass realtor and hacky-sack runner-up from Marietta, Ohio.

Michael H. Jordan: Mike Hunt Jordan… Wait, dammit! Okay, well done, you got us.

Michael I. Jordan: American researcher in statistics, machine learning, and artificial intelligence. Look him up; he’s a real guy. The I stands for “Irwin.” Cute!

Michael J. Jordan: Full name Michael Jordan Jordan.

Michael K. Jordan: German fruit preserves salesman from the Rhineland municipality of Spay. Known for his world famous “Marmelade von Spay” (translation: Spay’s Jam). Yeah, yeah, he knows.

Michael el Jordan: Michael THE Jordan.

Michael M. Jordan: Full name Michael Michael Jordan.

Michael N. Jordan: Treacle Magazine’s Stickiest Man Alive (2020).

Michael O’Jordan: Irish.

Michael ;P Jordan: First man to legally change his middle name to this emoji, 😜.

Michael Q. Jordan: Socialite, man about town, and presumptive inheritor of the Jordan family oil fortune. Known since birth as “Heir Jordan.” Yeah, yeah, he knows.

Michael R. Jordan: Pittsburgh-based professional baseball player. (What’s a Pirate’s favorite letter?) Briefly retired, tried pro basketball, then returned to the MLB.

Michael S. Jordan: The “S” stands for Hope.

Michael T. Jordan: Fecal Magazine’s “Stinkiest Man Alive” (2020).

Michael U. Jort-on: The reclusive inventor of jean shorts.

Michael V. Jordan: He’s just a regular electrician from Petoskey, Michigan, but we think it’s rad that his middle name is “Velociraptor.” Never change, Mikey!

Michael W. Jordan: Called “Dubya,” eldest son of Michael Herbert Walker Jordan.

Michael X. Jordan: Formerly known as Michael Twitter Jordan.

Michael Y. Jordan: Exactly. Bleh. Can’t stand this guy.

Michael Z. Jordan: Lesser-known American actor who coincidentally played the identical twin in Sinners. No relation to Michael B. Jordan.