So I Caught You Trying to Sneak an Ice Sculpture Through Security. Again.
I can see that you've just put sunglasses on him. No, you're not allowed to "Weekend at Bernie's" an ice sculpture.
Tag: Celebs
15 Things Your WASP Mother-In-Law and Paris Hilton Have in Common
- They both went to boarding school - They wish people would just calm down about the socioeconomic divide
Advice for Dealing with the Stranger (Nicolas Cage?) Living in Your Walls
Install a shower in there so he’s not hogging your family’s only bathroom while you sleep. His hair is always getting clogged in the drain.
Immersive Artist Experiences Other than Van Gogh
Monet: You’re admiring the haystacks painted on the walls when suddenly the room fills with pastel-tinted water.
Parasocial Security Will Take Care of Your Favorite Aging Celebrities
Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.
Gordon Ramsay Reviews Your Valentine’s Day Date
I suppose oysters are a noted aphrodisiac, but even those could never overpower the terrifying sight of your lover’s haircut.
The 10 Commandments (Taylor’s Version)
2. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not throw shade on my name or thy will face the wrath of hundreds of vengeful Swifites online.
So Your Mom’s Dating Pete Davidson
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
James Bond Gets Sober on Zoom
Isolated and idle, alcohol became my only sidekick and I didn’t care if it was shaken or stirred as long as it was in my mouth.
I Was the Lemur Handler on “Zoboomafoo” and My NDA Just Expired
I didn’t go to Tisch so I could buy cocaine for a lemur. Plus, lemurs need three times as much snow to get going.
Birth Control Brand or White Celebrity Baby Name?
Lyra? Aranelle? Zuma? Kyleena? Gio?
Werner Herzog Reviews His Favorite Films of 2021
"The Boss Baby: Family Business" The baby, it enrages me. 9/10