An Open Apology From Fred Durst, Who Did Not Mean to Do It All for The Nookie
Once desirous of The Nookie, I found it began to stifle me, the voice of my generation. I became the gatekeeper of what was and was not Nookie.
Tag: Celebs
List: The Alex Trebek Jeopardy! Icebreakers That Were Never Aired
Fatima, I've got your college transcripts here. Russian Lit major, Proverbial Folktales minor, now a freelance assistant. So, was Oberlin worth it?
I’m Marie Fucking Kondo and You Can Keep All Your Fucking Books, You Ingrates
When I said I personally liked having 30 books in my house, I meant it because that's what I like. It was a fucking suggestion, not a threat.
List: What I Imagine Being an English Butler is Like
My creative outlet is composing letters to my imaginary wife since I have implicitly sworn a life of celibacy even though I didn't know I had to.
List: Chuck Norris Would Like to Revisit His Facts
Chuck Norris continues to beat the sun in staring contests and that alone probably disproves climate change.
Let Me and the 10 Demons That Possess Me Host the Oscars
If I host, the "In Memorium" segment could do away with the typical photos and video clips, and summon the deceased spirits on stage.
A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”
List: Official Ranking of Every Hollywood “Chris”
The internet is abuzz ranking the four hunky and hot Hollywood "Chrises" from favorite to least favorite. My rankings are more comprehensive.
Lin Manuel Miranda Said He’d Kill My Family If I Didn’t Inspire You This Morning
“Love is love is love Fun is fun is fun Wake up, stretch like a cat”Oh god. He’s taking out a knife.
God Checks In on the Plan for You, A Person Who Is Not Drake
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.