A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Tag: Cats
List: Signs Your Pets Are Planning a Coup
You find throwing stars in the scratching post. / Your search history reads: "kibble download free" "cat fail compilation" "overthrow fleshy tyrant king"
Quiz: Are You Still Working at Home with Your Cats, Or Are You Back at the Office with Your Co-Workers?
- There’s a loud chewer in the group. - They look drowsy and could fall asleep at any moment.
List: Suggested Articles for Cats
"Doors are a Construct!" One BRAVE CAT'S journey to embracing a fluid Indoor/Outdoor identity!
I’m the Couch You Left at the Curb, and I Am Pissed
Whose fault is it I don’t look perfect anymore? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my arms that splashed me with queso dip.
Quiz: Male Cat or EDM Artist from the 2010s?
My ex-wife sleeps with one every night to fill a void in her life from 23 years of “wasted youth.” I’m not sure who I’m more jealous of.
A Love Letter to My Valentine, Catastrophic Thoughts, On Our First Anniversary
Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.
Holidays as Explained by Your Pets
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
It’s Finally Time to Unveil the First Ever Musical About Cats
It’s true that after I woke up from my forty-five-year coma last week, I was tempted to change gears. But I couldn’t temper my passion.
Cover Letter from Your New Kitten
I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
Every Writer’s Essay About Their Cat
My cat was born in hell. She exists solely to antagonize me and if anything ever happened to her I would kill everyone and then kill myself.
How to Make Every Interaction About Netflix’s “Tiger King”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.