Faerie Lights: For when you’re watching "Garden State" with him for the first time.
FastFix here. Hard to articulate... but there’s something about 5:00 that feels more rounded out than 4:30, don’t you think?
You looked through my mail and saw my meager wages. Appalled, you negotiated on my behalf, raising my salary commensurate with the rent raise.
When I dared him to grant me one wish, I should have known that a quite expansive piece of sandy land would appear right where I was standing.
Painting the unit is permitted, provided the tenants do so by stepping in jam and scurrying up the walls.
I think about the cold draft that likely billows through her hallways at night as I sit in this suffocating summer heat.
Danish Castle with Sea View: Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
This room also differs from other rooms in the home in that it features multiple bronze Paul Reiser statues bolted directly to the floor.
If these walls could talk, they'd talk incessantly about themselves while never asking you any questions about yourself.
Take a few breaths, now a few more breaths. Are you really wheezing already? That was only the second trip to the U-Haul.
Every year we live in fear of predatory rent hikes by turkey vulture-owned management companies.
The residences you’ll pass along the way, while not precisely identical, are nonetheless completely indistinguishable.