List: Junk Drawers of History
Albert Einstein - Pencils. No erasers. News clippings explaining Relativity in wrong but hilariously wrong ways. Address book of actual relatives.
Tag: Houses
List: Martha Stewart’s 10 Recipes for Quarantine Qooking
Day 27 - Fingerling Potato Sandwich... Use breath to warm four remaining potatoes, rip two pieces of old Amazon box into "bread" slices.
List: Top Eight Travel Destinations in March
The bedroom. The native language here has more than 50 known words to mean “anxiety” and the local motto is “we’re totally fucked.”
All Hail Aegeus II, the New Vermin Overlord of What Used to Be My Apartment
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
List: Bad Rent Week? There’s a German Word for That
Fetsfermönee - The act of drafting a tweet about selling pictures of your feet, then deleting it because your mother follows you.
Romeo and Juliet Respond to an Apartment Listing
Is there a balcony where I can easily repledge my devotion to my true love? There simply must be a balcony.
An Extensive Guide to Every Remote Control in Our House
The small remote controls the volume and the tall remote controls the channels. We think that one is under the sink.
Litter Boxes: How Scooping Clumps Became Part of Normal Life
Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.
List: How to Find the Perfect Apartment in Hell
Don’t hesitate. If you see an apartment you like, grab a demon’s pitchfork, stab it in your thigh, and sign in blood immediately.
List: Hot Trends in Realtor Profile Poses
Waist up. Open-neck shirt, light blue. Body angled but just barely, so the viewer wonders, "Is his body angled or not?" One hand across waist.
Congratulations on Securing a Saggy Bed and Creaky Desk at Our Artist Colony!
This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.
5 Times My Father Was Strapped for Cash So We Had to Pay Our Rent by Complimenting Our Landlord’s Horrendous Calf Tattoos
He has a visible tattoo of Tim Allen playing billiards with Tim Allen. (The second Tim Allen had red glowing eyes. He kept calling him “Dark Tim.”)