Your Spotify DJ Keeps Recommending an Artist Named Jar Mondo
That was "Bird Heat" by Jar Mondo. Here's a fun fact: That's his real name—like, full legal name.
Comedy Writing
You Don’t Understand, If I Use This Turn Signal My Car Will Explode
The very moment I use my turning signal I will be blasted sky-high. You can imagine the headache this has brought upon me.
If Classic Literature Had Ad Breaks
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte – "Reader, I married him. It appears Hinge was the dating app intended to be destroyed."
Penalty Kick Alternatives to Determine the Winner of a Tie During a World Cup Match
The country leaders play a game of thumb war in front of the entire world. The losing country loses more than just a World Cup match.
The Assassination of Julius Caesar If It Were Reported in 2022 AD
The New York Times: Critics Say a Roman Civil War Is Coming—Others Disagree
Things I Would Say to My Crush If I Woke Up Back in High School
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
Excuse Me, Do You Have a Permit for This Outdoor Proposal?
I come to this park to walk my dog and to scold teenagers doing skateboard tricks on the walkway.