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Publication: The Hard Times

Established in 2014, The Hard Times is a daily satire news publication featuring punk, alt music, and gaming satire news. "Real punk news, comin’ your way!" Below are recently added links by PIC members to their comedy writing on The Hard Times.

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Meet the 21-Year-Old Causing the Adderall Shortage

by Julien Perez | December 14, 2023 | The Hard Times

Catholic Church Unveils Limited-Edition Berry Blast Eucharist

by J. Taylor Lee | November 6, 2023 | The Hard Times

Top 10 Songs by Atom & His Package

by Jeff Bender | June 25, 2023 | The Hard Times

How to Talk to Your Kids About Dave Matthews Band

by Jeff Bender | October 11, 2023 | The Hard Times

We Ranked 50 Drummers Based on How They’d Help Us Survive After the Apocalypse

by Jeff Bender | September 15, 2023 | The Hard Times

Rules for Driving to Los Angeles with Only 10 Dollars and a Dream

by Jeff Bender | August 27, 2023 | The Hard Times

It’s Kinda Funny How Much My Students Teach Me When I Don’t Teach Them Shit

by Jeff Bender | September 8, 2023 | The Hard Times

Chill Restaurant Lets You Put Paper Towels in the Toilet

by Jeff Bender | October 2, 2023 | The Hard Times

“Friends” Characters Ranked By How Likely They Would Narc On Your Kid’s Unlicensed Lemonade Stand

by Julien Perez | October 5, 2023 | The Hard Times

Bassist Left in Hot Car for 8 Hours Drawing More of a Crowd Than When He Performs

by Doug Kolic | September 2, 2023 | The Hard Times

Punk Pied Piper Marches Army of Rats Right Back Into Town

by Doug Kolic | August 24, 2023 | The Hard Times

Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism

by J. Taylor Lee | September 24, 2023 | The Hard Times

The Top 50 “Community” Characters Ranked by Their Ability to Stop A Campus Shooter

by Julien Perez | September 19, 2023 | The Hard Times

Supreme Court Justices Make Pact to Always Be Friends and Never Forget This Wild and Crazy Summer

by J. Taylor Lee | August 28, 2023 | The Hard Times

Kid Magician So Good He’s Balding

by Jeff Bender | August 19, 2023 | The Hard Times

Rules for Replacing a Lead Singer

by Jeff Bender | August 13, 2023 | The Hard Times

Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times

by Jeff Bender | August 10, 2023 | The Hard Times

Rules for Dealing with a Coworker Who Plays Guitar

by Jeff Bender | August 5, 2023 | The Hard Times

Trivia Nut Can Name All 4 Members of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

by Jeff Bender | July 18, 2023 | The Hard Times

Garbage Truck Driving Behind Punk Band’s Tour Van Can’t Believe the Stench

by Doug Kolic | August 13, 2023 | The Hard Times

We Revisit That Sick Burn We Had on That Kid in Grade School Because We Really Need This

by Doug Kolic | August 13, 2023 | The Hard Times

If Home Ownership Is So Elusive, Why Did I Inherit Three?

by Doug Kolic | July 15, 2023 | The Hard Times

Mother-in-Law Files Quarterly Report of Celebrities Who Have Gained Weight

by Jeff Bender | July 13, 2023 | The Hard Times

Rules for Being in a Van Halen Photoshoot Circa 1974

by Jeff Bender | July 1, 2023 | The Hard Times

Opinion: College Admissions Should Only Be Based on Merit and Who Your Parents Are

by Doug Kolic | July 12, 2023 | The Hard Times

5 Times Characters From “Full House” Made Inappropriate Remarks About the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster

by Doug Kolic | June 23, 2023 | The Hard Times

New Documentary on Black Sabbath Reveals Last Documentary Got It About Right

by Jeff Bender | June 1, 2023 | The Hard Times

Steven Spielberg Announces Regret for Editing Guns, Massive Alien Dong Out of “E.T.”

by Doug Kolic | May 26, 2023 | The Hard Times

AI Band Looking For Server to Crash On

by Doug Kolic | May 19, 2023 | The Hard Times

Help! I Let My Freak Flag Fly and Now I’m in Trouble With the Homeowners Association

by Doug Kolic | May 19, 2023 | The Hard Times

Man Hoping Diarrhea Planet T-Shirt Distracts From Goatwhore Tattoo

by Doug Kolic | May 16, 2023 | The Hard Times

Singing Drummer Feels Just as Weird About This as You Do

by Jeff Bender | May 16, 2023 | The Hard Times

If “A Clockwork Orange” Is So Disturbing Why Am I Letting My Sister’s Kids Watch It?

by Doug Kolic | May 10, 2023 | The Hard Times

Fan Standing Alone in Darkened Venue Still Holding Out Hope for Second Encore

by Doug Kolic | April 27, 2023 | The Hard Times

If You Didn’t Want to Attend the Gathering of the Juggalos You Shouldn’t Have Put Me in Charge of Planning Our Honeymoon

by Doug Kolic | April 12, 2023 | The Hard Times

Help! I Started Smoking Weed but It Wasn’t a Gateway to Any Stronger Drugs

by Doug Kolic | April 4, 2023 | The Hard Times

Aging Aerosmith Looking for Young Groupies to Mainly Help with iPhone Updates

by Doug Kolic | April 2, 2023 | The Hard Times

Singer Celebrating 1 Million Spotify Streams Needed Back in Frozen Food Section

by Doug Kolic | March 14, 2023 | The Hard Times

I Gave John Lennon the Finger Guns the Day He Died and I’ve Felt Guilty Ever Since

by Doug Kolic | March 13, 2023 | The Hard Times

5 Ways To Be Supportive of Your Friend’s Band That Doesn’t Involve Seeing Them Play Their Shitty Music Live

by Doug Kolic | February 25, 2023 | The Hard Times

Basement Show Goes Dark After Grandma Turns on Kettle Upstairs

by Doug Kolic | February 24, 2023 | The Hard Times

Woman Serenaded by Musician Boyfriend on Valentine’s Day Under False Impression She Getting Other Gift

by Doug Kolic | February 14, 2023 | The Hard Times

Super Bowl Crypto Ad More of PSA This Year

by Doug Kolic | February 12, 2023 | The Hard Times

Super Bowl Halftime Show to Honor Fallen Eagles Fans Who Slipped on Own Puke at Urinals During First Quarter

by Doug Kolic | February 12, 2023 | The Hard Times

Police Force Signs Local Schoolyard Bully to Development Deal

by Doug Kolic | February 4, 2023 | The Hard Times

Netflix Replaces Development Executive With 1980s TV Guide

by Doug Kolic | February 3, 2023 | The Hard Times

All Members of Trivia Team Only Experts in Power Metal

by Matt Grimminck | January 8, 2023 | The Hard Times

“The Mandalorian” Season Three to Follow Teenage Yoda’s Quest to Lose Virginity Before Graduation

by Doug Kolic | January 6, 2023 | The Hard Times

Dad Interrupts Viewing of “It’s a Wonderful Life” To Remind Everyone That Hunter Biden’s Laptop the Single Greatest Threat to Democracy

by Doug Kolic | December 23, 2022 | The Hard Times

Christmas Miracle! Mall Santa With Visible Pantera Tattoo Holds Off Day-Drinking Until Noon

by Matt Grimminck | December 17, 2022 | The Hard Times

If There Isn’t a War on Christmas Why Was I Just Arrested in Santa’s Village for Indecent Exposure?

by Doug Kolic | December 13, 2022 | The Hard Times

Aging Fans Spend Most of Show Discussing Best Route Home

by Doug Kolic | November 26, 2022 | The Hard Times

Coming on Too Strong? This Waitress Just Asked if I Wanted a Drink

by Doug Kolic | November 16, 2022 | The Hard Times

We Wrote the Great American Novel, but We Did It by Holding the Pen Between Our Buttcheeks and Crabwalking Over Graph Paper So No Publisher Will Touch It

by James Knapp | September 5, 2022 | The Hard Times

If Buying Booze for Underage Kids Is Wrong Why Am I Suddenly the Coolest Teacher in School?

by Doug Kolic | November 14, 2022 | The Hard Times

Mark Wahlberg Insists Monster Mash Never Would Have Happened if He’d Been at Castle That Night

by Doug Kolic | October 31, 2022 | The Hard Times

Cursed Amulet Doesn’t Go With Anything

by Doug Kolic | October 28, 2022 | The Hard Times

Local Man Blows Two Drink Minimum Out of Fucking Water

by Doug Kolic | October 6, 2022 | The Hard Times

Band’s Pre-Show Huddle Mainly Just Prayer That Allegations Don’t Come Out

by Doug Kolic | September 28, 2022 | The Hard Times

How Meditating Each Day Helped Me Forget About My Toxic Behavior

by Doug Kolic | September 23, 2022 | The Hard Times

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