We’d Love to Pay You More, But We’d Rather Spend It on Boats and Cocaine
It’s just not something we care to do, because of our uncontrollable desire to own all of the boats and all of the cocaine.
Doug’s satire and humor writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Points in Case, End of The Bench plus a few other outlets. Doug lives in Toronto.
It’s just not something we care to do, because of our uncontrollable desire to own all of the boats and all of the cocaine.
You’re in the top one percent of all naval aviators, with "a need, a need for speed." But I think you have a serious need for fiscal responsibility.
Install a shower in there so he’s not hogging your family’s only bathroom while you sleep. His hair is always getting clogged in the drain.
Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.
Are you embarrassed that I called you out, and now suffer from some sort of movie monster performance anxiety?