Sunnyvale, CA

A New York transplant living in Silicon Valley, Rob is a semi-retired software engineer and comedy writer/performer. His work has been published in Points and Case, Slackjaw, The Weekly Humorist, RobotButt and Chortle. Substack: https://robblock.substack.com

Comedy Writing

Jokes

We’ve never sent a conspiracy theorist to the moon. That can’t be a coincidence.

— Rob Block

My therapist diagnosed me with narcissistic personality disorder. That must have been the highlight of her week.

— Rob Block

When my uncle died, we bought the casket from IKEA. The funeral took all weekend.

— Rob Block

I don’t understand oat milk. I’ve never met an oat with tits.

— Rob Block

I’m not saying I’m better than Jesus. But I have 13 followers, and he only had 12.

— Rob Block

Comments

Funny piece. "prix-fixe menus and performative romantic gestures" for the win.
on Valentine Preparedness Advisory and Emergency Response Protocol  |  February 19, 2026
Hey Tony, I see you're also a good cartoonist. I'm looking for a collaborator. If you're interested, please send an …
on I’m a Hostage Who Can’t Stop Focusing on How This Bank Robber’s Fly Is Down  |  January 27, 2026
Great piece! "Shot by a commando going commando" was my favorite line.
on I’m a Hostage Who Can’t Stop Focusing on How This Bank Robber’s Fly Is Down  |  January 27, 2026
This is brilliant!
on Odysseus Returns Home After 20 Years, Only to Discover the HOA Has Fined Him $47,000  |  January 15, 2026
Nice!
on The 15 Other Times It “Would Have Gone Down Differently” Had Mark Wahlberg Been There  |  January 8, 2026
Nice work kid. You might have a future in dis bizness.
on Fellas, I Only Joined the Mafia Under the Assumption There Would Be More Philosophical Monologuing  |  January 6, 2026
This is really funny and well written.
on How I Built 22 Streams of Passive Income by Blackmailing the Starting Lineup of the Philadelphia Eagles  |  December 11, 2025
Ha!
on Evidence That My Kid’s Daycare May Actually Be a Blues Joint  |  November 14, 2025
Great piece!
on Not to Be a Pick-Me, But Are You Jilting Me at the Altar?  |  October 21, 2025
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