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A few alternative ideas for how to return to your youthful self and satisfy the urge to get back behind the desk.

As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.

Though I’ve never worked in the service industry nor do I know anyone who has, I know that, like all jobs, the head honcho is the daddy.

I'll have just spent $150 to have a breakdown when I could have done that for free, in my apartment, with ice cream.

You may be a smart and cultured individual who plays the mini crossword and watched that Stanley Tucci show about Italy. But it’s the reputation.

Half-Burnt Candle, Ongoing. Wax, glass, scented oils. In Half-Burnt Candle, the collector subverts tradition by leaving a candle half-burnt.

Reading this book is your white whale, and avoiding spoilers is the rope wrapped around your neck, just like at the end of Moby Dick.

Basically this show is the plot of Guys and Dolls but, inexplicably, there is also one random guy on stage who keeps insulting Derek Jeter.

Did they really hurt their ankle or do they just want to stop hiking with you because you brought your own poop bag?

The study ended after the cone of peach ripple divorced its husband on the grounds that he was having an affair with a strawberry cheesecake.

There’s no way you’re shouting “SEX ON THE BEACH, PLEASE” over the too loud music.

Remind yourself that you don’t even like Aperol that much and that everyone who says they do is probably lying, at least a little.