Updating Romantic Comedy Tropes for Modern Times
Two friends book a cabin with two beds on Airbnb, but upon arriving they realize the second bed is actually a yoga mat with a blanket and pillow.
Tag: Guides
Job Listings, Translated
“Candidates should be comfortable with ambiguity.” Translation: We have no idea what’s going on.
An Updated Pricing List for My Emotional Labor
Stranger Tier: The stranger package has been updated to eliminate basic greetings and small talk.
Five Grueling Core Exercises That Are Still Easier than Openly Expressing Emotions
Feelings of guilt and shame will give you the boost you need to keep on crunching. Your core will thank you!
Everything I Missed Out On While My Glasses Were Fogged Up
The “Seat Yourself” sign in a totally empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly at the host stand for 15 minutes.
How to Do the Perfect Squat
Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.
The Three Laws of Robotics, If Isaac Asimov Had Led a Different Life
The Laws of Robotics, if Isaac Asimov was really into Partying: A robot must not harsh the vibe, or by inaction, allow the vibe to be harshed.
Ten Grapes I Ate Anyway
Grape that went under the refrigerator: I swear it bounced off my knee and shot directly under the fridge.
Five Turtles You Saved to Get into College and the Spine-Chilling Deaths They’ve Died Since
From the moment you looked into Doris's eyes, you knew that your father's assistant who majored in Comp Lit at Yale would find the right words to describe them.
How to Tell If That Beeping Noise Means Your Fridge Is Slightly Ajar or You’re Slowly Dying of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
A Subtle Jingle Ascending in Scale: Your Bluetooth headphones are alerting you to a dying battery with a gentle cry for sustenance.
A Real New Yorker’s Guide to the Real New York, Really
First, don’t ever call it the Big Apple. That’s embarrassing. The locals call it Nork-Nork. As in, “Welcome to Nork-Nork, dumb-dumb!"
Your Mama Jokes from Guy Who Is Clearly in Love with Your Mom
Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.