Rejected Muppets
Name: Dick Van Dyke Species: Jerk Physical Appearance: Tall and rude. Personality: Straight white man.
Tag: Guides
Never Buy New Kids Clothes Again with Growth Apparel, the Clothes That Grow on Your Child
You'd never know that it is an alive organism, save for the occasional dampness and an appropriate amount of mold that forms on the sleeves.
Quiz: Are You in Love with Your Barista?
Is it time to overthrow the self-doubt that has plagued your absurd, tender heart for all these months? Subtract eight points if your heart is neither tender nor absurd.
Fact Checking the March Madness Song, “One Shining Moment”
"you’re a shooting star" -- This needs context. Most players do shoot at some point during the game. But not many are true stars.
Suggested Zillow Listings in Your Price Range
The Gingerbread House from Hansel and Gretel: Start a new magical chapter in your storybook with this enchanted cottage built entirely out of candy!
Excerpts from “Caring for Your Epilogue Baby”
Because the romance author who wrote your story didn’t quite know how to end their book.
Best Picture Reviews by Me, the Dad of a Six-Week-Old
Conclave: Based on the summary that my childless friend gave while dropping off a tray of lasagna, I found this story unnecessarily hard to follow.
Relaxing Vacation Spots for Moms
Buckle in for the getaway of your dreams. A luxurious solo spin in your very own 2009 Honda Civic.
Stages of Processing a Catcaller Saying “You’ve Still Got It”
Minimizing: Well, at least saying you’ve “still got it” isn’t vulgar or threatening.
An Honest Sign-up Sheet for the Office Potluck
Not enough soda // A side dish that inexplicably calls for three sticks of cream cheese
A Checklist for the Babysitter
The children do not eat fruits or vegetables. It’s important that they do not consume any kind of plant, nothing that has been grown of the earth.
Use These 12 Powerful Professional Comebacks to Defuse Workplace Bullies
I heard you call me a weenie under your breath and that makes it hard for me to focus. Could we all agree to put a moratorium on the word weenie?