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List: Hemingway Novels Retitled to Boost Website Traffic

The Old Man and the Sea: Old Men LOVE Fishing but Hate Shark Week in the Gulf Stream!

“With monotonous passages that seem to drone on and on, it felt at a certain point like the author himself had switched to auto-pilot.”

The PhD student who worships Peter Travers and prefers Kurt Cobain’s technical prowess as a vocalist over Nirvana as a band.

Nietzsche: The dishes cannot be done because they are no longer dishes; they are merely objects awaiting their next social construction by humans.

Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty

Discover a side hustle such as giving speeches about your main hustle. / Learn to do basic household tasks like having sex with your own spouse.

AstraZeneca: As a gentleman of an Eton and Oxbridge pedigree, you take pride in dignified indolence. Why give it your all when 70% is just fine?

Baby's First Oil Field Science Kit – Rebuild a scale model of the oil fields owned by great-great-grandpa Thurston Moneybags III!

Main priority is to help a childish man learn to accept responsibility and find happiness. / Likes to wear tube tops and/or bright mini skirts.

I ree need to know if youtube dining hin fit Chirstmas, / Translation: “I really need to know if you’re coming home for Christmas.”

Cement Mixer Swivel Chair - Once your guests sink into the metal drum, they won’t want (or be able) to get up!

"Rest In Peace Ye Merry Gentlemen" – They were merry at the rally. They were merry at Joe's Crab Shack. Now they're dead.