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This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
Bigfoot, Chupacabra, but not Mothman (he’s a real jerk)
5: Percentage of my college tuition covered by the inaugural Just a Taste of Hope Ayn Rand Memorial Scholarship.
Random people keep jostling you to get to the front of the amorphous blob you’ve been waiting in for 30 minutes.
A scribe’s only acceptable wardrobe is a good collared shirt or sensible cardigan, or a collared shirt under a sensible cardigan.
The May-Decemberita: Sherry with a sprinkle of Molly.
He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
I Got You Babe (And By “You” I Mean Rude Comments on Your TikTok)
The "Definitely Not Adderall" Meal ($54.99): A taco shell with six tablets of Adderall in it.
You are pressing the button so hard that the spring mechanism has failed. Please stop pressing someone else’s button.
The New York Times: Critics Say a Roman Civil War Is Coming—Others Disagree
How many fouls does each player get? Do dogs get the same number of fouls? How much longer until the dogs come out?