1. You walk into Starbucks and order a Cold Brew with Vanilla Sweet Cream. Instead of asking “What size?”, the twenty year-old woman with the nose ring behind the counter stares at you with a blank expression. Customer service sure isn’t like it used to be, you think to yourself, as you hear the entrance door jingle and feel a draft of cold air around your nether regions.
  2. You check out the new hip sushi restaurant. In the dim lit foyer you ask for a table for one but instead of politely responding the twenty-five year old host with the mustache just glowers at you mute and glassy eyed. Behind you you hear a woman whisper to her husband, “Oh my God, that person isn’t wearing undies!”
  3. You take a trip to Costco to buy a new pair of jeans because all your other pairs are in the wash. The guy at the register is wearing the exact same baggy JNCOs you used to wear in high school. Excitedly, you tell him, “I can see myself in those jeans!” Instead of responding like a friendly sales associate should, the guy looks at you dead-eyed while reaching to press a little red button below the cash register.
  4. At a street taco food cart, you ask for a paper menu. A guy pokes his head out. He’s got blue hair. “Just scan the QR code,” he tells you. “I didn’t have room for my phone today,” you tell him. Glancing down at your legs, the man’s face goes blank. “Can I get a paper menu?” you ask him a couple times. But he just stands there insolently staring at you. Then you hear police sirens and dash away.
  5. You wake up late! After a hasty shower, you speed to work. At your desk, you realize for the first time that the fabric on your office chair is coarse and itchy. After greeting your coworkers, and making a bit of small talk around the break-room Keurig, you receive an email from Human Resources. Walking into her office, the young HR woman doesn’t acknowledge you, but instead stares vacantly in your direction as if you were a ghost. This younger generation is completely rude and unprofessional, you think, as she pushes some paperwork for you to sign across her desk.
  6. You visit the library. Your favorite, quiet sanctuary, where everyone belongs, and where everyone is welcome. However, when you say hello to the Gen Z librarian with the tattoo sleeves she doesn’t nod, or greet you or anything. She just glares at you blank faced. Then the burly security guard tackles you and wrestles you to the ground. Handcuffing you, the guard says, “We’ve told you, not to come in here without pants!”
  7. You’re serving a stint of seven to ten years for being a “chronic nuisance due to public nudity.” The prison guard who patrols your wing is a young guy who takes his job far too seriously. Each time he walks past, you tell him through the bars of your jail cell, “You should smile more.” But instead of responding like someone from an older, more sensible, generation, the guard looks straight ahead.

1-7: You are nude from the waist down in public.