Clothes

Tag: Clothes

Customer service sure isn’t like it used to be, you think, as you hear the entrance door jingle and feel cold air around your nether regions.

What I actually look like: I walk slowly and calculatedly because these shades are darker than I remember from last summer.

I, Your Ratty Underwear, give my consent to die a natural death.

Are you looking for anything specific today? Just browsing? Awesome—mind if I watch from the other side of the room?

You'd never know that it is an alive organism, save for the occasional dampness and an appropriate amount of mold that forms on the sleeves.

I’m going to call for an exorcist soon, and it just won’t do for her to be in her typical house-wear of leggings and a cozy sweater when he arrives.

Don’t you love it? It’s got a nice high collar, but three-quarters-length sleeves, so it’s not too formal.

I’m on thin ice with my manager, Trayson, and I can't afford another marinara mishap. Please, my job is on the line here.

This jacket matches whatever you’re wearing. It’ll choose an outfit for you if you don’t know what to wear.

Somewhere along the way, every single person I’ve ever known got the idea that silly socks were the thing I cherished most.

I'm an athletic person so the sweatband is useful and does not look like the beginnings of a goofy '80s Halloween costume.

If they say something like, "Nice cowboy hat, asshole," pretend you didn’t hear—even though you're the only asshole wearing one.