If you do go out, you’ll worry you may regret it.

If you don’t go out, you’ll worry that everyone will have a good time without you.

If you do go out, you’ll immediately start thinking about when you can leave.

If you don’t go out, you’ll immediately start wishing you had.

If you do go out, you’ll need to come up with an excuse to leave early.

If you don’t go out, you’ll need to come up with an excuse for bailing.

If you do go out, you’ll get anxious thinking about all the small talk you’ll have to engage in.

If you don’t go out, you’ll get anxious thinking that everyone who did go out is talking about you.

If you do go out, you’ll have to get dressed up and, after hours of trying to decide what to wear, will spend the rest of the night second-guessing your choice.

If you don’t go out, you can sit at home in your sweats and order Uber Eats but, after hours of trying to decide what to get, will spend the rest of the night second-guessing your choice.

If you do go out, you’ll have to wait in line to use the bathroom.

If you don’t go out, you’ll have to wait until the end of the episode to use the bathroom.

If you do go out, you’ll feel obligated to go out again the next time everyone makes plans, so you stay in the know about the next time everyone makes plans.

If you don’t go out, you’ll feel like you’re going to be blacklisted the next time everyone makes plans.

If you do go out, you’ll be added to the new group chat.

If you don’t go out, you’ll have no idea about the new group chat until you run into someone who’s part of the new group chat and they ask, “Can you believe what happened to Zoe?” then, after seeing the blank look on your face will say, “It’s all in the group chat,” at which point the blank look on your face will quickly transition to disappointment upon the realization you’re not part of the new group chat.

If you do go out, you’ll be constantly posting on social media so everyone who’s not there knows what’s going on.

If you don’t go out, you’ll be constantly checking social media to see who’s there and what’s going on.

If you do go out, you’ll be part of the inside joke everyone laughs at for the next few months.

If you don’t go out, you’ll be the only one not laughing along with everyone else, so you’ll assume they’re laughing at you.

If you do go out, no one will miss you.

If you don’t go out, no one will miss you.