Everyone Is Inherently Worthy of Love, Respect, and Belonging—Except for You by Nikhil Nayyar|April 26, 2024
The Trick-Question Section of the Student Aptitude for Withstanding Testing Anxiety Admission Test by Tyler Maxey|April 25, 2024
We Will Be Filming on Your Street Tomorrow for a Show That You and All Your Friends Will Really Hate! by Matt Payton|April 24, 2024
Help, It’s Your King! I’m Trapped and Will Surely Burn Alive Unless You Download This Mobile Game and Match Blocks by Similar Color and Shape! by Logan Corcoran|April 23, 2024
Eight Bowling Alley Animations That I Regret Making for PinBuddies Entertainment Between 2000 and 2010 by Jesse Raub|April 17, 2024
8 Roles My Stepdad Can Play in My Life Now That My Mom Has Finalized Their Divorce by Jordan De Padova|April 13, 2024
I’m William Shakespeare and I Wrote All Those Famous Lines Because They Would Look Really Cool on Fridge Magnets by Divyansh Kulshrestha|April 2, 2024
The Viral Essay Making the Case for Marrying a First Grader (When You’re in Kindergarten) by Annie Berke and Olivia Rutigliano|March 30, 2024
Letter to the Elusive BrätBus™: Why Do You Hate Our Wonderful Midwestern City? by Logan Green|March 28, 2024
I’m Proud to Announce I’ve Been Selected to Pay for a Full-Ride Scholarship to the University of Business Online by Logan Corcoran|March 26, 2024
Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” After He Was Told It Had to Hit a 500-Word Minimum by Emily Bressler|March 21, 2024
I Am a Real Person, With Real Feelings, With a Real 48-Foot Medieval Trebuchet by Benjamin Bliss|March 20, 2024
What I Think I’ll Find in My Inbox When I Compulsively Check My Email 50 Times a Day by Andrea Davis|March 15, 2024
Shut Up, Antidiabetic Medicine Jardiance®, Just Shut Up—You Had Me at “Serious Side Effects Can Include Necrotizing Fasciitis” by Logan Corcoran|March 8, 2024
Five Grueling Core Exercises That Are Still Easier than Openly Expressing Emotions by Mara Macduff|March 2, 2024
Everything I Missed Out On While My Glasses Were Fogged Up by Emily Kapp and Daniel Stillman|March 1, 2024
FAQ About Giggles ‘N Scales, Florida’s Only Combination Daycare and Alligator Sanctuary by Josh Long|February 29, 2024
It’s AT&T, We Apologize for Thursday’s Outage and Also Why Won’t You Talk to Me?! by Ethan Gilsdorf|February 28, 2024
We Only Dumped Toxic Waste in Your Drinking Water to Raise Awareness of Hazardous Dumping by Karl Lykken|February 27, 2024
Did You Have to Invite Your Foley Artist Friends to Our Dinner Party? by Anthony DeThomas|February 26, 2024
The Three Laws of Robotics, If Isaac Asimov Had Led a Different Life by Lillie Franks|February 23, 2024
What to Say If Someone Offers You a Cigarette by Madeline Goetz and McKayley Gourley|February 20, 2024
For God’s Sake! Why Are You All Still Ordering Our Spiciest Wings That Have Put 27 in Comas?! by Peter Clark-Deutsch|February 16, 2024
Of Course I’m Taking Valentine’s Day Seriously, I Rented “Margin Call” by Amanda Lehr|February 14, 2024
Hurry! For a Limited Time Only, YOU Could Be the Next Owner of Our Exclusive Family Heirloom Ring! by Megan Sarnacki|February 12, 2024
Cancel Your Gym Membership in Three Easy Steps and One Impossible Minotaur Fight by Devin Wallace|February 9, 2024
I’m a Matriarch in a Play, and I’m Sure Nothing Bad Will Happen at My Family Gathering by Lillie Franks|February 6, 2024
Five Turtles You Saved to Get into College and the Spine-Chilling Deaths They’ve Died Since by Youmna Chamieh|February 5, 2024
I’m an Elite Professional Quarterback, but My Coaches Don’t Trust Me with the Team’s Tablet by Arthur Tarley|February 3, 2024
Don’t Be Alarmed, This Rollercoaster Is Designed to Get Stuck Upside Down for 75 Minutes by Kurt Zemaitaitis|February 1, 2024
Negotiations from a Hostage Negotiator Who Clearly Has Some Stuff Going On at Home by Tyler Gooch|January 30, 2024
Are You a Human Sending a Circle Back Email, or an Alien Making a Crop Circle? by Meg Reid|January 29, 2024
How to Tell If That Beeping Noise Means Your Fridge Is Slightly Ajar or You’re Slowly Dying of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning by Matt McInerney|January 26, 2024
Now That I’m Dead, I Totally Understand Your 1-Star Reviews of My Poorly-Managed Graveyard by Logan Green|January 25, 2024
Sit Back, Relax, and Enjoy the Flight in Between My Nonstop Announcements by Rachel Reyes|January 20, 2024
Mount Sinai Hospital Labor and Delivery Unit Class of January ’24 Reunion by Emma Hill|January 18, 2024
Our Committee Welcomes Fresh Ideas, as Long as They Don’t Conflict with Windowpane Smashing Festival by Ross Murray|January 17, 2024
You Shouldn’t Have Messed with a Philosopher, and I’ll Prove It from First Principles by Lillie Franks|January 15, 2024
This Obituary Does Not Give a Cause of Death, but Wouldn’t You Love to Know by Tod Brubaker|January 13, 2024
Letterboxd Reviews of “The Thing,” If the “Thing” Was the Dancing Old Man from the Six Flags Ad by Rebekah Reisig|January 12, 2024
A Real New Yorker’s Guide to the Real New York, Really by Joanna Borns and Erin Chack|January 11, 2024