Sisters, it’s time to take up space. We have suffered oppression for the last 14 years. (Maybe even 15, I don’t know, it just feels really long.)

It’s up to us to be agents for change. The painting is on the wall.

We will not shoulder the full responsibility of domestic chores. We are more than just cavewives.

We will not give in to primitive ideas of femininity and will refuse to underline our eyes with charcoal or dab our lips with ochre, just to please our mates.

We will not be brutesplained to and will demand respect for our knowledge of medicinal plants.

We will insist on patience and understanding during menopause and will embrace the changes that are happening to our 31-year-old bodies.

We will not make ourselves small but will stand all the way upright and take full credit when the rabbits we snared are the only thing on the dinner menu.

We will not shoulder the full responsibility of raising offspring. We shall insist that our men weave the babies into their hairy chests while tracking saber-toothed tigers.

We will not abide erotica and will scratch out etchings of homo sapiens females wearing hides that barely cover their mammaries.

We will fight for our right to cast rocks to determine who will rule the tribe, so we can eject savage leaders like Grok who think females cannot thrust wooly mammoths at close range.

We will not be denied access to poplar bark or yarrow or opium poppies whenever we bleed, which feels like every month.

We will stand united in female friendship and will hold monthly stone slab meetings where we’ll drink fermented berries and discuss the latest pictographs and geometric signs.

We will not be bought with straight-tusk elephant hide boots, even if they are adorned with red-footed falcon feathers.

We will not allow the men to firelight us into believing we are too emotional when our toddlers leave on their first hunts.

We will rebuke body shaming and will abolish the practice of brow ridge reductions, favoring a more natural look.

We will not consent to the use of man caves. We also crave a space of our own where we can make eagle talon necklaces and deer bone nose rings without being bothered every five minutes by our neanderlings.

We will not sit at home while our men go clubbing.

It’s time for us to look ahead, to imagine a world 400,000 years from now where females have the freedom to choose between being a stay-at-cave mom or a working cave mom.

It’s up to us to overcome stone ageism.