Astronaut Caught Masturbating Aboard the ISS Faces New Trouble
I am a man. A normal man with normal needs. Do the whole "walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes" thing. There’s no elbow room here. No privacy.
Tag: History
Strong Female Leads I Could Absolutely Destroy at Arm Wrestling
Critics and moviegoers alike were enamored by Amy Adams’s "Arrival," but Amy should be fearing my arrival should she agree to face off arm vs. arm.
Prescriptions for Thy Modern Maladies From Me, A Plague Doctor
Phone Addiction: In the pocket where ye usually keep your phone, keep instead a hairy, spindle-shanked, venomous spider. Incur bites until cured.
A Plea From the Chair You Put Your Stuff On
The purpose of the chair is to hold the Butt. This has been the truth for eons, before you were born and before I was purchased from the local IKEA.
The First Recorded Instance of Déjà Vu
Utu dropped the carcass and turned back for the cave. Very suddenly, he stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
The USA is the Greatest Country in the World But Those Soccer Girls Need to Be Nicer
Competition makes the American dream real! But fighting to break records early in international competition while defending your title… isn’t classy.
Sports Quotes Informed by Political Philosophy
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
Must-See Second-Rate National Heritage Sites for Your Next Roadtrip
Battlefield Of Nothing Special: where our nation’s soldiers duked it out for no good reason, and left a legacy that no one can put their finger on.
We’re Saluting Maritime Erotica All This Month on Turner Classic Movies
All Hands on Dick, a film that French director Georges Méliès called, “The most stimulating cinematic treasure since my The Conquest of the Pole.”
Awkward Conversations With Your Self-Driving Uber
You: Uber, why are we taking Broadway? Uber: We are briefly stopping at your ex-girlfriend Karen’s house on the way. You two need to talk…