Our Planned Community Is Rooted in Roman Values, but Mostly Orgies
But we do maintain strict adherence to Rome’s Four Cardinal Virtues: Stoicism, Beauty, Justice, and the most important one of all—Orgies.
Comedy Writing
Un-Pimp My Ride
You programmed the screens to only play "The Fast and the Furious"—my favorite movie... in 2006.
Your Local Weed Guy Has Been Acquired by MegaTech
It’s still me, the same old Gary, but now I’m backed by a mega-cap corporate behemoth. You can just call me Gary Delivery Brought to You by MegaTech.
A Quick Note About My Book Deal
I blew my advance on a fully-loaded Bugatti Veyron Linea Viviere (MSRP $2.3 million), as well as a series of bespoke leather shirts.
Tough Conversations with My Mechanic Bruce Springsteen
Bruce: With this very unpleasin' sneezin' and wheezin, she’s revved up like a deuce. Me: Layman’s terms? Bruce: It’s totaled.
What I Thought My First Year of Teaching High School Would Be Like vs. What It Was Actually Like
- O Captain! My Captain! - Please get off the desk.