Dear North Valley Millennial Faire staff and performers,

It’s not easy to bring the 21st century back to life, and your dedication is commendable.

I mean, look at all of us, using email emulators to conduct official faire business!

Now, with that being said, below you will find feedback regarding the most recent faire. I have also tagged the relevant staff with whom I can brainstorm in order to best capitalize on the opportunities identified and make the 2547 North Valley Millennial Faire one for the ages!

“I really liked most of the stomp clap music, but in my opinion, as a PhD having done my dissertation in 21st century American music, it was a little light on mandolins and millennial whoops. Just food for thought, thanks!”

Karen, what do you think? Could we maybe get some updated pricing on mandolins? I remember you telling me that they were expensive a few years ago, but I wonder if things have changed since then.

For what it’s worth, I think you and the other Y2 A-Okay members have the perfect whoop/non-whoop ratio, and that you all did a great job last year.

“My kids and I tried your ’21st Century Screens Experience.’ It was fun, but we had neck pain for a couple of days afterward. Have you ever thought about interfacing the iPhone or tablet display drivers with people’s CerebraLink implants? I’m a software consultant, and I think we could get you guys up and running with an interface that allows your customers to have the tactile experience of old digital devices, but not have to contort their necks like something out of a Picasso painting trying to look at the screens. Just ping me back at pod #2781604A if you’re interested.”

Pauline, this sounds interesting. I figure it can’t hurt to reach out. Can you set up a meeting?

“My husband and I were trying IPAs for the first time in your craft brewery, after only having read about them in history books, but we kept getting distracted by children playing games and carrying on. I can’t believe, even back in the millennial days, that they would let children gallivant about in an establishment that sold alcohol. Please try to do better.”

Kelvin, I’m sharing this more for your awareness. I want you to know that I support allowing children unfettered access to the brewery so they can scurry about. Everyone in leadership agrees that it’s imperative to offer our guests this well-documented and authentic millennial experience. So, hold your head up high, keep up the good work, and have a beer to celebrate a job well done!

“Greetings! My name is Burt Sturdivant, and I am an American culture nerd. I really appreciate the effort to portray presidential debates as these became a great source of intrigue and entertainment for 21st-century Americans. I do have one note, though. During your 2050 presidential debate reenactment, you had the Yellow Party candidate drink water laced with cyanide, when I do believe it was the Purple Party candidate who was poisoned. I know things got a little hard to keep track of between 2046 and 2060, so I get how that could be an easy thing to mix up. Thanks for all that you do!”

Laura, I think he is right, but let’s have our historian send an information request to the Undersea Archives Curator to double-check.

“Hi, my biological battery farm is about 2 miles away from where you did your event. You had ‘battles’ with Millennial-Aged Epic Fury drones. Well, one of the missiles nearly hit my tissue replication lab. Can you guys use blanks in your reenactments next time?”

Jon, could we maybe repurpose the drones to just make colored smoke trails? I believe people enjoyed seeing things like that in the Millennial Ages. Also, I’ll own up to my ignorance here, as I had no idea that we were causing explosions.

If I tagged you, thanks in advance for addressing any action items.

Warm Regards,
Sherri Buff-Parkins
Operations Manager of North Valley Millennial Faire Entertainment, LLC