To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter on behalf of the Legion of the Undead Scourge to lodge a formal complaint towards Xarkaz the Vile. In the examples provided below, you will find a persistent pattern of behavior which engenders a toxic and unproductive work environment, and which betrays the prestigious office of Chief Necromancer.

Monday, January 12th

During training drills atop Mount Despair, Xarkaz reprimanded us, his loyal skeleton horde, for lacking a sufficiently menacing glow in our empty eye sockets. Specifically, he referred to their color as “rage red” as opposed to “wrath red.” This comes after previous instructions were made to adopt “rampage red.” Of course, to any outside observer, the radiance from our skulls is not only sufficiently craven, its crimson tint is one of elegance and professionalism. What’s more, our eye hue has remained unchanged since Xarkaz’s appointment last spring, and he has yet to comment on it once since then. So why, we ask, must he suddenly take issue with it, especially considering not one of the victims of our evil marauding campaigns has lodged a single complaint over it?

Wednesday, February 11th

While preparing for a raid, Xarkaz made belittling comments about the resonance of a particular individual’s rattling sounds: “The femur and tibia are supposed to go click-clack, not clack-click. Don’t let it happen again!” When asked for clarification, Xarkax flew into a rage, accusing the company’s bones of grinding rather than groaning, scraping instead of grating, and squeaking when they should be creaking. He went on to imply our enemies would succumb to being “annoyed to death” at the sound of our approach. Not only is such a statement untrue and offensive, it also undermines the numerous occasions in which our enemies in fact soiled their britches upon hearing us advance, an achievement we skeletons are most proud of.

Tuesday, February 24th

Upon arriving outside the royal castle to begin our siege, Xarkaz allowed the Troll Division access to a nicer campground, despite the skeletons claiming it first.

Sunday, March 1st

Xarkax denied us our pre-scheduled lunch break, citing breaching the castle walls as the main priority. First of all, just because we do not have the biological need to eat does not mean we do not appreciate an allotted time to socialize. Secondly, at the time Xarkaz made this ruling, the castle wall was hours away from actually being breached. The trolls had only just begun to bridge the moat, at which point the battering ram would need to be loaded, transported, and secured in place. Only then are the skeletons of any use tactically. Finally, and most important of all, Xarkaz using his authority to cancel our lunch hour is a blatant abuse of power, one which is both grossly inconsiderate and undignified regardless of any circumstances.

Thursday, March 12th

Following a successful overthrow of the castle keep, Xarkaz made demeaning and derogatory comments regarding certain individuals’ performance in battle. These comments were not only an overstep of appropriate workplace relations, they also diminished the hard work put forth by everyone to make such victories possible. Specifically, Xarkaz referred to one skeleton’s flanking technique as “bone-headed” while claiming another has “Ray Harryhausen type moves. Bro fights at 24fps for real lol.” Ordinarily, we pride ourselves on our affinity for casual camaraderie and wholesome banter. These comments, however, were deliberate attempts at ridicule and mockery.

Monday, March 16th

Xarkax forbade us from plundering the castle’s armory for superior weapons, shields, and armor. When some of the horde tried looting the weapons of our slain enemies, we were again dissuaded from doing so. According to Xarkaz, replacing our gear should only be done in the most extreme circumstances, as the age and dilapidation of our current supplies enhances our fear factor, while simultaneously increasing infection rates among wounded enemies. While this practice may be common among undead forces, it is by no means policy. Furthermore, Xarkaz refused to account for the individual needs of each skeleton, opting instead for a blanket ban on all war plunder. As a result, some members of our legion have been left with brittle swords and splintered shields, in addition to our already subpar armor options. This has led to both a decrease in morale, as well as workplace safety. Again, we fully embrace an aesthetically appropriate amount of rust when needed, but it is worth remembering that many of us were resurrected straight from the Ancient Blood Plains of Distant Yore; outdated equipment is outdated equipment, plain and simple.

Friday, April 3rd

Xarkaz told a skeleton his smile was “offputting.” This was particularly upsetting, as said skeleton had a history of being told that in life.

In conclusion, we, the Legion of the Undead Scourge, no longer believe a productive working relationship to be possible while Xarkaz the Vile continues to serve as Chief Necromancer. Going forward, we trust the Department of Inhuman Resources to take action in recognizing our needs, accounting for harm done, and ensuring a positive and safe work environment for all skeletons.