A Note Regarding the Employee Suggestion Box and the Mothman in the Break Room
When life gives lemons, make sure to offer those to the Mothman in hopes the tart treat will placate his impulsive desires.
Tag: Office
Circles of Hell Revised for Badly Behaved Prospective Employers
LIMBO: For employers who ghost a candidate.
I Don’t Whistle in the Office Because I Want To, I Do It Because I Have To
The nine-to-five can be a grind, so if I’m not attempting to boost morale by blaring high-pitched ditties at every opportunity, then what use am I?
Action Needed, RE: “The Incident”
At what point did you realize the graphic I was drawing bore a loose resemblance to male genitalia? Please complete the following sentence: "After I drew _____."
An Honest Sign-up Sheet for the Office Potluck
Not enough soda // A side dish that inexplicably calls for three sticks of cream cheese
Use These 12 Powerful Professional Comebacks to Defuse Workplace Bullies
I heard you call me a weenie under your breath and that makes it hard for me to focus. Could we all agree to put a moratorium on the word weenie?
Honest Translations for the Reasons I Call in Sick to Work
I threw out my back yesterday and can’t even move today. I’m going to need to take a sick day. (Translation: My cat is sleeping on my lap)
Why Your End-of-Year Bonus Is a Pet Rock
You: Is there a financial component? Boss: Who needs money when you have the love of a decorated lump of minerals?
You Seem Unfulfilled at Your Job, Building a Facetune App for Dogs
Apathy doesn’t gel with our mission of making dogs better-looking with the transformative power of AI.
Why I Like the Taste of Billionaire Boots
I have to defend the rich, so that in a theoretical future where I become ultra-wealthy, I can benefit the same way they do now.
What the Office Supplies You Steal from Work Say About You
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Thank You for Attending This Meeting to Address the Totally Unfounded Rumors of Layoffs That We Definitely Haven’t Had Planned for 6 Months
Take it from me, the CEO who only has your best interests at heart: There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything