Why I Like the Taste of Billionaire Boots
I have to defend the rich, so that in a theoretical future where I become ultra-wealthy, I can benefit the same way they do now.
Tag: Office
What the Office Supplies You Steal from Work Say About You
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Thank You for Attending This Meeting to Address the Totally Unfounded Rumors of Layoffs That We Definitely Haven’t Had Planned for 6 Months
Take it from me, the CEO who only has your best interests at heart: There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything
Your Promotion from Coworker to Friend Has Been Denied
We know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but unfortunately our pool was full of more qualified applicants or people we already know who lived closer.
Are You Playing a Board Game or Bored in a Meeting?
Someone in the room is acting as a leader, and no one is having it
Every Person at Your Job
THE BOSS: This is your BOSS. It’s in all caps, because he (it’s a man, always a man) wants you to be clear that he is your BOSS.
Interview Questions for Potential Employers Who Refuse to Reveal the Salary
The job description mentioned “complimentary fruit." Could you please elaborate? As in, what fruit are we talking about?
How to Tell If It’s Another Boring Day at the Office or If You’re Secretly Being Filmed for a Reality TV Prank Show
Don’t end up on a hilarious, reality prank show like "Milk or Sumo!"
Please Enjoy Our Company Lunch of Not Pizza
I just thought it would be fun to spice things up this time—literally in the case of that ominously bubbling aluminum tray at the end of the row!
Diagraming Your Perfectly Pleasant Post-Interview Email Back to Me
“Thanks for taking the time to meet.” Alright, I see. I took the time to meet. I did you a favor, huh.
Effective Immediately, We Are Cancelling Our Mentor-Manatee Program
We are especially pleased to announce that one of our program participants was named one of “30 Under 30 Feet of Water.” (Best of luck, Bubbles!)
Dear Applicant, My God What Have We Done?
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.