Research Potential Employers: Wait outside businesses and take notes on everyone’s facial expressions and demeanor as they leave for the day.
We’re looking for a problem-solver with a team-centered approach and supernatural powers.
Ernest Hemingway For Hire: Competent Shoes, Never Filled
My degree in the Art History of Bookbinding has proved utterly useless, even in the bookbinding industry.
I Finished Making My First Batch of Chardonnay for My New Wine Company and I’m Looking Forward to Selling It in 17 Years
Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.
- Sometimes the leader thinks they can fly. - Workers must work as fast as they can with barely any breaks.
WHAT WE’RE LOOKIN’ FOR… YOU: - Enjoy tippin’ over hot dog carts for craps n’ giggles - Like puttin’ pennies on train tracks and watching ‘em smoosh
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
Ordering things online and choosing in-store pickup rips an irreparable hole in space-time. The two cannot co-exist.
My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?
As a current job seeker, I would love nothing more than to find out what exactly those thoughts are in that big, juicy brain of yours.