You’re ashamed to be wearing something from Goodwill while everyone you know is wearing something gifted to them by their rich parents.
Providing an extra hand for “light as a feather stiff as a board” at your next sleepover / Watching your ex’s Instagram story and reporting on their whereabouts
“Oh, I do a little of this, a little of that. Can I be more specific? Yes, but for the sake of my dignity, I’d rather not.”
Work Anniversaries: See your manager for a token of our appreciation—a homemade coupon for one (1) weak handshake.
Want to boost your buying power? There’s a simple strategy you may have overlooked: lowering yourself in esteem, quality, or character to get money.
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
When You Shop My Balloon Bouquet Small Business Where I Blow Every Single Balloon by Mouth, You’re Supporting Real People
All mouth-blown, no helium balloon pumps allowed! And when I say “we,” I really mean just me.
Every non-union job listing, for companies like BoatSwatch, Amalgamated Hunter, and A.I. Wurxs.
Seeking gray-haired, whiskey-drinking curmudgeon to oversee a department of knucklehead agents with withering disdain.
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.
Don’t get me wrong—on paper, you had pretty much everything we were looking for. But your experience was not at our company, in this exact position.