“But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean.” — Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

10,000 B.C.

Early traces of cerulean date back to cave paintings from the Old Stone Age. The color depicted stone tools, harpoons, and tears from assistants spilling searing hot Starbucks.

900 A.D.

A young Viking aspiring to be a journalist landed a job inscribing maritime manuals. This was the first documented incident when “cerulean” was used to describe the sea. A million Vikings said they would kill for her job.

1666

When inventing the color wheel, Isaac Newton struggled with the blue-green hue of cerulean. In moments of high stress, he was overheard muttering, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”

1789

Cerulean was synthesized by a Swiss chemist with the nickname the Clacker, dubbed for the sound made when tapping laboratory beakers.

1803

While appointed as First Consul, Napoleon Bonaparte got teased for wearing a hideous cerulean jabot his mom bought at a tragic Casual Corner. It was not his height, but frilly ornamental neckwear that triggered the Napoleon complex.

1901

Pablo Picasso grew fond of this color since his grandmother adored her cerulean Chanel boots. This is why every painting used cerulean during his Blue Period.

1910

Halley’s Comet was visible from Earth and had traces of cerulean in its tail. It was regarded as a bad omen as spectators found themselves losing their phones, getting divorced, or reeking of an onion bagel.

1929

While October 24 denoted the stock market crash and is referred to as “Black Thursday,” October 30 is regarded as “Cerulean Wednesday.” This day is also known as National Corn Chowder Day.

1935

Kodak manufactured its Kodachrome color film, which was praised for its vivid cerulean blues. It became the go-to film for fashion magazines and replenishing it was a common errand for assistants named “Emily.”

1949

As the Red Scare brought anti-communist paranoia, Downtown Manhattan was terrorized by the Cerulean Scare. New Yorkers lived in fear of the impossible tasks hurled at them by a devil wearing Prada.

1956

Elvis Presley released the song “Blue Suede Shoes,” which was an ode to his cerulean orthopedic sneakers. Fashion stylists secretly owned dozens of pairs of these sensible shoes.

1964

In her influential essay “Notes on ‘Cerulean,’” Susan Sontag declared that “the hallmark of Cerulean is the spirit of moving at a glacial pace.”

1972

When redesigning the IBM logo, renowned graphic designer Paul Rand blasted Madonna and commenced a makeover montage. 12-year-old art director Stanley Tucci pontificated that “Big Blue” had no style or sense of fashion. He scoffed at cerulean, claiming it was a “Mediocre Blue.”

1980

Pac-Man was introduced as an arcade game. While the blue ghost is cyan and named “Inky,” it was originally planned to be cerulean and called “Dragon Lady.”

1999

Pantone designated cerulean as its inaugural Color of the Year. Since it was a favorite color among editor-in-chiefs, cerulean was assigned the hex code of #THATSALL.