You’re invited to your work’s super-fun, summer team get-together dinner!

No, it’s not mandatory, but you’re strongly encouraged to come if you’d like to ensure paid time off for the things you’d actually like to do this summer.

We know we didn’t give you bonuses over Christmas, just those water bottles with our logo that you have to leave on work property, so we thought this would be an enjoyable diversion from that, since some of you can’t seem to stop talking about it.

But here’s the best part of all—it’s free!

But just for you, nobody else. No dates, no buffers, just raw dogging an evening with you, your coworkers, and your boss. So fun! Please find the details below.

Where: A mid-scale casual dining restaurant that’s absolutely nowhere near you. We know you could use a free meal though, so what’s driving forty miles out of your way for what promises to be an incredible, off-the-clock evening of fun?

Please note: Parking is valet only and will not be reimbursed.

When: 5 P.M. on a Monday! Be sure to budget at least two hours for traffic to get there on time. It might only be an eight-minute drive for our boss, but they plan to show up promptly at 5:28 P.M., as we only have our table reserved for an hour and a half.

Did we mention that this whole thing will be both fun and free?

What We’re Serving (Food): A fun, pre-set menu of small plates you won’t find filling. We call them tapas! We encourage sharing—but not because we don’t want to pay as much. It’s free after all! Have fun and split an app or two (limit two) and experience what Yelp reviewers are calling “a painfully ordinary and considerably under-seasoned” culinary adventure.

What We’re Service (Drinks): After last year’s summer get-together dinner, and the not-so-fun harassment lawsuit with Dave and Buster’s staff, we’ve decided to make this a sober event. What’s more exciting than truly getting to know the people you work with over a free non-alcoholic mocktail or fountain drink?

Please note: Limit one non-alcoholic drink per-person. Lost drink tickets will not be replaced.

Who Will Be There: You, none of the co-workers that you like, and your boss. It’ll be like having a long “working lunch,” but your higher ups will be watching you try to eat shrimp cocktail without making a mess on your shirt.

Please note: Shrimp cocktail not included in pre-set menu.

We know you could be using this unpaid time for literally anything else, but why not spend it answering “ice breakers” and making awkward conversation with people you’re required to interact with five days out of the week?

Did we mention it’s free?

Please note: Dessert will cost extra.