Forgot to Book Your Beach Vacation? Here’s Your Best Second Choice!
Depending on who you ask, this flashing neon sign either depicts two pelicans frolicking or fornicating. The choice is yours!
Maury Levine
Birmingham, Alabama
Maury is the author of Shopping Bagged and Oliver's AI Generated Silly Picture Book, a contributor to comedy websites including The Broadway Beat, End of the Bench, The Spoof, Glossy News, Points in Case, Robot Butt, and Little Old Lady Comedy, and had a riff used in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Maury is also a drummer, and lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his excellent family.
Comedy Writing
We’re the Bank That Acquired Your Bank and You Have to Trust Us
Trust is more than just a word to us—it's a word we now use twice in our name. See how trustworthy we are?
- by Maury Levine
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- March 14, 2024
by Maury Levine, Clay Beyersdorfer, Tom Brown, Ryan David, Victoria Flynn and Tatum Price | February 14, 2025 | End of the Bench
by Maury Levine, Clay Beyersdofer, Victoria Flynn, Tatum Price, Ryan David, Lauren Crimaldi, Henry Loe, Nicki Escudero and Doug Kolic and Joe Fernandez | December 24, 2024 | End of the Bench
by Maury Levine, Todd Mitchell, Nicki Escudero, Tom Brown, Nicki Coffman, Lauren Crimaldi, Henry Loe, Ryan David and Miles-Erik Bell | November 28, 2024 | End of the Bench
Jokes
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like non sequiturs.
If it smells like toast, walks like toast, and talks like toast, you are taking some powerful drugs.
What doesn’t kill you may be arrested for attempted murder.
Happiness is that feeling you get when you take warm laundry out of the dryer. Sadness is that feeling you get when your neighbor discovers you in their house holding their warm clothes.
My first grade teacher was Mrs. Password.
You are not you’re mistakes.
Non sequitur? I hardly know her.
My uncle always said, “Don’t be the hero.” So I didn’t pull the fire alarm.
If you’ve ever used the word “heretofore” in conversation, you’ve purchased something from a haberdashery.
Prison is just the most advanced level of escape room.
Want to write haiku
Don’t have any ideas
Try again later