I Am the Stain That’s Already Ruined Your Favorite Sweater
The whole restaurant glares as you fling your body away from the table like you’re protecting the commander-in-chief.
Charles Lauer is a humorist, screenwriter, and a top-5 “Charles” of all time behind Barkley, Schwab, Windsor III, and XCX. His work has been featured in humor publications like Points in Case, Slackjaw, MuddyUm, The Haven, Jane Austen’s Wastebasket, Pitfall, Little Old Lady Comedy, and Doctor Funny. Charles is not related to Matt Lauer. Please stop asking if he’s related to Matt Lauer (he’s not).
The whole restaurant glares as you fling your body away from the table like you’re protecting the commander-in-chief.