Peak summer travel

Try to get to the airport a few days early if traveling during the summer flying season. You can easily subsist on trail mix purchased at Hudson News and by dipping the pages of David Baldacci paperbacks in leftover BBQ packets from the McDonald’s two terminals over.

Holiday travel

If you find yourself traveling in the holiday gauntlet stretching from Thanksgiving to the new year, plan on arriving at the airport 2-3 hours after your scheduled departure time. Doing so will ensure that you’re on exactly on time—for your new flight after your original one is inevitably delayed.

Traveling with young children

You’d be best advised not to fly with young children if it can be avoided, but if you find that you absolutely must travel by air with the kiddos, arrive 8-10 hours early to build in time for tantrums, lost toys, and cherished time with TSA.

February

No need to overthink this one. Feel free to show up like two minutes before your flight is supposed to take off as no one in the history of civilization has ever actually planned a trip for the month of February (besides you). If you’re lucky, they might even let you fly the bird yourself.

Traveling with your parents

Are you an adult person traveling with your parents? If so, you’ll need to stay at the overpriced hotel attached to the airport as that will be the only way to make the 5:00 A.M. flight they booked because it was the cheapest one. Pro tip: set aside an additional 5-10 minutes to do some breathing exercises for when your dad tries to get his pocket knife through security.

Traveling for a bachelorette party

If you and the gals are sending “Megan,” or “Jennifer,” or “Erin” off with one last hoorah before matrimonial bliss, be sure to arrive four hours early to the airport donning personalized bachelorette party shirts that say something like, “She said ‘I DO’… want to get wasted!” It’ll take you about an hour to get through security, which will leave an additional three hours for selfies by your gate.

Traveling for a bachelor party

If you and the boys are sending “Liam,” or “Eric,” or “Dane” off with one last rager before he TAKES THE PLUNGE, arrive early enough to get absolutely WRECKED at whatever chain restaurant serves booze nearest your gate. For most bachelor party crews, 45 minutes will be more than enough time.

Traveling for work

If it’s not on your dime, go ahead and chance it by waiting until the absolute last minute to leave for the airport. If you miss the first day of the conference, who cares? You weren’t going to make those outcomes actionable anyways.

If you have PreCheck

Fancy pants over here! Someone with your wealth surely doesn’t need any advice on how to live their life. PreCheck is one step removed from owning your own private jet, so you might want to see if you can afford that instead of going to the airport where you will be forced to share air with common folk.

If you’re an asshole

If you’re a total and absolute jerkoff, arrive at the airport extremely late and then get really pissed off that there are other people there. Don’t they know that you, and only you, have a plane to catch?

If you’re a regular person

If you’re like the rest of us, arrive two hours early for a domestic flight and three for an international flight. Will the ends justify the means? It’s impossible to know. Airport arrival times are more suggestion than science. So, go ahead and unload your bags at the curb, walk through the sliding double doors, and hope for the best.