A Strongly Worded Email to Amazon from Me, an Evil Genius Billionaire, Because the Shark Tank Filter They Sent Me Was Broken
What do you people want from me? To jump in my bald-eagle-shaped submarine and hand-deliver it to one of your warehouses?
Age: 23. Height: 5'11 3/4. Weight: 162 pounds, or, 13 phone books. Tattoos: Yes, 7, all of them of the neck variety. Thigh width: 32 cm. Thigh height: 52 cm. Was in consideration for season 7 of Wipeout but never made the cut.
What do you people want from me? To jump in my bald-eagle-shaped submarine and hand-deliver it to one of your warehouses?