Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
"Sounds like a nightmare. Tell me all about it."
“When we come back…The Rockettes will perform” (They won’t)
There is currently a Starburst-flavored C4 energy drink wedged underneath the brake pedal of my car.
North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord
Thirst-quenching lightly carbonated infused with a blend of tropical fruits enhanced with vitamins and minerals perfectly natural and good for you.
3 washable school "Sure, I’m sticky now, but I’ll eventually be left out to dry" glue sticks
Hey girl, let me get your number, along with any additional resources you might have lying around, like a spare oxygen tank.
Basically this show is the plot of Guys and Dolls but, inexplicably, there is also one random guy on stage who keeps insulting Derek Jeter.
Someone in the room is acting as a leader, and no one is having it
This Café Makes All The Espresso, I Guess / Sacrifice Something So Grandma Can Leave