The “Seat Yourself” sign in a totally empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly at the host stand for 15 minutes.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.
Clapping along: You’re confident. Some would say overconfident. Holding up a lighter: You have a peace sign bumper sticker on your car.
The Laws of Robotics, if Isaac Asimov was really into Partying: A robot must not harsh the vibe, or by inaction, allow the vibe to be harshed.
Grape that went under the refrigerator: I swear it bounced off my knee and shot directly under the fridge.
From the moment you looked into Doris's eyes, you knew that your father's assistant who majored in Comp Lit at Yale would find the right words to describe them.
How to Tell If That Beeping Noise Means Your Fridge Is Slightly Ajar or You’re Slowly Dying of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
A Subtle Jingle Ascending in Scale: Your Bluetooth headphones are alerting you to a dying battery with a gentle cry for sustenance.
First, don’t ever call it the Big Apple. That’s embarrassing. The locals call it Nork-Nork. As in, “Welcome to Nork-Nork, dumb-dumb!"
Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.
Kara, from today onward, you and I will be one in heart, body, and mind. Hey, can we curse on this thing?
YOU FORGOT MOM’S BIRTHDAY! IT’S TODAY! BUY HER A PRESENT HERE NOW!
Faerie Lights: For when you’re watching "Garden State" with him for the first time.