Guides

Tag: Guides

A clumsy answer could lead to confusion. Too much detail, and you risk sending your flat friend into an existential spiral.

To start, what kind of face wash do you use? Quel horror if you say “just bar soap.”

Thanks to my dedication, all of the horrors I’ve planted are glossy and lush. Their roots are growing deeper every day.

Slagar the Cruel is considered a front runner for the 2028 Republican primary.

Fantasy: Emotionally, I am more stable than a 1000-year-old Sequoia. Reality: I faked a cat allergy when my wife caught me crying at Toy Story 3.

What I actually look like: I walk slowly and calculatedly because these shades are darker than I remember from last summer.

For the fourth time this month you’re asking yourself: am I on a date with Hall-of-Famer Shaquille O’Neal wearing an elaborate disguise?

Gamer Dogs: Dogs playing poker / Dogs cheating at poker / The puppies in the Puppy Bowl

A Western omelette from a bodega served in a Styrofoam tray: You are a nihilist and people should actually be afraid of you.

After what happened last summer, I will not run after the Freddy’s Frozen Freaks ice cream truck.

Do you want to ignite a painful audit of your soul and psyche where you question every decision in your life that led to this moment?

These are the party animals who travel cross-country to see every footnote in person.