I Know Your Siren Song Is Famous, but I’d Love to Hear You Sing Something More Contemporary
But, if I could offer one tiny suggestion, while you sound amazing, the song choice doesn’t show off your full potential.
Tag: Editors’ Picks
I’m Your Landlord, and That’s Not Mold, It’s “MushroomCore”
Let me stop you. That’s not mold. That’s ambiance. That’s character. That’s the sort of authentic, rustic charm people pay top dollar for.
This Town Ain’t Properly Zoned for the Two of Us
Ya'll must be nuttier than a squirrel's mouth to think you can set up establishments WITHOUT proper certification and licenses.
How to Determine Whether the Person You’re on a First Date With Is Actually Shaquille O’Neal in Disguise
For the fourth time this month you’re asking yourself: am I on a date with Hall-of-Famer Shaquille O’Neal wearing an elaborate disguise?
Why Isn’t That Thing I’ve Been Putting Off Doing Already Done?
Can’t you see how clean my oven is? How filed my taxes are? How very walked my dog is? And yet, the thing is still not done.
A Categorical Ranking of Dogs
Gamer Dogs: Dogs playing poker / Dogs cheating at poker / The puppies in the Puppy Bowl
I’m the Safety Tag on a Baby Product and, Yeah, I’m Going to Kill Your Baby
CAUTION: I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again. You’re probably thinking: “Why would a soft, soft teddy bear kill a baby?"
Let’s Be Bad!
Oh lord, here comes my nemesis: the dessert menu! If I get a slice of the tres leches cake, you’ll all have a bite, right?
What Your Breakfast Order Says About You, NYC Edition
A Western omelette from a bodega served in a Styrofoam tray: You are a nihilist and people should actually be afraid of you.
NO, KYLE ENERGY DRINK DOES NOT CONTAIN TRACE AMOUNTS OF REAL KYLE
WELL GUESS THEY CAUGHT ME. GREAT JOB. BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS. OH GOD SO MANY FUCKING TEARS INTO THIS DRINK.
Heyyy It’s Me, That Cigarette You Want to Smoke When You’re Abroad
We cigarettes just taste better abroad. The exact science is unclear, but it’s probably because we’re free of toxic ingredients like judgmental looks from your friends.
Everything I Will Accomplish During My Perfectly Curated Adult Summer
After what happened last summer, I will not run after the Freddy’s Frozen Freaks ice cream truck.