Why You Should Only Cut to Me Laughing During This Comedy Special Taping
I didn’t bring my resume with me but here you go: hahahahahhaa. See, I’m good.
Tag: Featured
Every Time, Ranked by Lateness
5:00 AM -- Catching the sunrise? Driving to hockey practice? This is the third least-late time ever invented!
Charnstone Manor Is Hiring a Governess!
Strong candidates will fit in with our diverse and dedicated group of cryptic caretakers, silent maids, hostile valets, and cursed children.
Strange UFO Encounters in Dooglesbury, Iowa
September 21st, 10:02 PM: “The Big Stinker” spotted again three miles away, hovering outside an elderly woman’s second-story window.
How to Know He’s the One—The Chosen One, That Is
If they have a mentor over the age of sixty who spends most of their day wearing robes, then you are dealing with an absolute keeper.
My Elevator Pitch About a Disaster Movie Set In an Elevator
I suppose death could be right around the corner for us... In the movie, of course!
I Would Be the Best Writer in the World but Oops, My Pencil Broke
The publishing world has always had a bias against writers who have never actually written anything.
I’m Pleased to Announce That This Party Has Been Canceled
Having many strangers come to my home was a poorly thought-out concept, and adding alcohol to the mix surely would have created hellfire.
This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us
Say, what do you reckon they were thinking when they built such an itty-bitty town in the first place?
Network Notes for the Upcoming Frasier Reboot
Good news! Vita Coco has just offered $4,500 to work their product into the show. Frasier just needs to say, "I’m loco for Vita Coco!"
Parallel Universes Where a Football Coach Wins the Game and the Team Dumps Gatorade on Him
If the football coach's team loses the game they dump acid on him.
I’ve Lived Longer than Any Dog Ever
In the eyes of a dog, I am nothing less than an eternal being existing beyond the constraints of matter and time. So where's my treat for being a good boy?