Featured | Points in Case

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We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?

You think you know a person and then they run off with 29 of your closest friends to do a smash-and-grab.

Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.

Max acknowledges that you are now an out lesbian with a live-in girlfriend and three dogs so he has suggested the following addendums.

Imagine him chasing after a ping pong ball. Imagine him eating a banana horizontally, à la corn on the cob.

SPLERT seeks original, unpublished work from poets who grew up in Potomac, Maryland but tell people they are from "Rockville."

Painting the unit is permitted, provided the tenants do so by stepping in jam and scurrying up the walls.

“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”

Want to boost your buying power? There’s a simple strategy you may have overlooked: lowering yourself in esteem, quality, or character to get money.

We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.

Marie__LocalHairgirl9: A huge part of my childhood. I skinny dipped in the reactor pool as a teen and since then I’ve had a 60 foot vertical leap.

Do not stay on the toilet for extended periods. By minute three or four you’re risking a nasty bite.