I’m talking secrets. Intrigue. Betrayal. A young Penn Badgley. Oh, yeah. I rented "Margin Call." What do you mean, “What’s that?”
My downstairs neighbors should give up on the thing they call a “heavy metal bagpipes band.”
We figured you just weren’t hungry or something, considering how often you used to snack on us.
Just you, me, a $20 bottle of pinot noir, and 5-8 professional sex associates that we host for a no-holes-barred 12-hour touchfest.
Listen, I appreciate being included in this Christmas parade but, frankly, I’m not sure why I’m here.
My seat had no window, I'd wasted my cash / on a seat in the middle by a guy with a rash
There is no way ol' Kris Kringle is going to remember what I asked for… until now. This holiday season, he is going to remember my name.
What do I want for Christmas? Just get me anything. Socks, sweaters, a crisp stack of twenties shoved inside a brown paper bag.
I leaned in super slowly for a kiss when… her freaking precocious daughter popped in so that we could taste the cookies she made.
Wearing multiple warm layers will ensure that you don’t end up in the ER with hypothermia.
Your father and I are trying to plan Hanukkah. Think you’ll be able to join us in Nazareth for the last night? You also have a birthday coming up.
A brief mea culpa from me: as the lone cook of this dinner, I cannot help but feel that I have to bear at least some responsibility for this.