The history of the present Control by mom and dad is a history of repeated standoffs in the kitchen and plates that have too many colors.
It's me, the least popular character to break into your home and leave stuff in the name of celebration. Let me lay it out for you.
1 Peter 1:3: "Praise be to bunny Jesus who is always, like, twitching his little nose."
I suppose oysters are a noted aphrodisiac, but even those could never overpower the terrifying sight of your lover’s haircut.
Stock Consultant: Honestly, this feels more helpful than predicting the end of winter anyway.
‘Tis several weeks beyond Christmas when you realize You forgot it completely—doggone it, time flies!
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
Ten New Year’s Resolutions from a People Pleaser… Unless Ten Is Too Many, I Can Do Five Instead, It’s Really No Trouble
I resolve to say "No" more often to things like babysitting around the clock for my friends.
I will run a mile every morning… but if my knee is acting up, I will walk instead… unless it’s raining, of course… or even drizzling...
3. List the toys/gifts/cash you received from family members other than Auntie Abigail. (Because this auntie can top whatever you got.)
After leaving his wife and stumbling out of a piano bar, George Bailey drives into a tree. Or as it’s also known, “The Billy Joel Trifecta.”
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, Although millions of microscopic mites which live in the pores of the skin will be out to feast