As you know, I have just spent the holiday season visiting family in my hometown, Fir Tree Falls.
I’m the worst, aren’t I? I was so adamant it was, like, the only thing I wanted for Christmas.
Jesus was born on a virgin. A virgin is a kind of a airplane. There was a pilot there called Punch Us.
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
If this is a medical emergency or if suspicious men are breaking into your place of worship, hang up and dial 911.
Like Thanksgiving or Easter, Grublin's Day was on a different day every year, sometimes even in a different month or year.
A profoundly boring pair of plaid PJs ($499.78)
"It’s a Wonderful Life When Compared to Everyone Else at This Bar" - George Bailey's guardian angel offers perspective.
My dead eyes do not say, “Someone help me! Management won’t let me retire!”
Reese's Cups: “Another groveling rube clamoring for accolades simply for having done exactly what is required."
At This Year’s Fall Harvest Festival, We Have Replaced the Corn Maze with You Getting Lost in Your Phone
We've accepted the fact that the Corn Maze could no longer compete with technology's draw to hook you to the point that you lose all sense of time.
The history of the present Control by mom and dad is a history of repeated standoffs in the kitchen and plates that have too many colors.