Doesn’t fall correctly… I don’t know what the ideal shape would be, but this wasn’t it.
This family has a rich history of Crazy Uncles ruining Thanksgiving. A tradition that you are now responsible for.
What’s that they’re talking about now? "Where’s Aunt June’s fun dip?” The fuck is fun dip? Christ in heaven, this is Thanksgiving!
Nothing good will come from yelling about whether there’s a glue spot on the plastic pear that indicates where a neighboring bunch of muscats should be adhered.
Thanksgiving is one of the few days that I can gather with my family, eat a huge plate of delicious food, and pound back six or seven glasses of gravy.
A Scene from “The Banshees of Inishirin” or a Scene from Any of the Four St. Patrick’s Days I Had at College?
Someone chokes on a finger and vomits.
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
Visit The Zoo: The animal kingdom accepts open displays of weeping.
While you're stocking up on chocolate-covered everything, fighting tooth and nail for a dinner rez, indulge in these love bites.
I’ve given up hope when I see the cabinet door swing open, and your big, dumb hand comes lurching toward me.
Labor Day - Here’s what they won’t tell you about Karl Marx: He’s a daddy!
Dude, I cannot wait to get in there and silently appreciate the little fella. Let’s go!